h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Dear Dr. Montague Trout,
Well,well,well! First I meet you making your own camembert - which I foolishly questioned!.
Then I meet you in the wilds of Botswana.
And now I find you are in Hong Kong.
You quite obviously love the bush. I am afraid that I am not a great one for the wilds. I am scared stiff of wild animals and when I go to my children's game farm which is on the confluence of the Limpopo and the Sashi I am a mass of trembling jelly most of the time.
Your account is so vivid - and the description so accurate that it practically reduced me to that. Thank you so much for letting me experience it in front of my computer sitting in my wheelchair.!! I might add that my children are like yourself and love the gamepark where they have been fairly frequently. Are the Okavango Swamps fairly near and how about the Caprivi strip? My sons were at school at Plumtree which I believe is fairly near the Botswana border.
And now you are in Hong Kong. Four of my grandchildren were born there and I have spent several happy holidays there with them.
Well, I hope that you take time to come on your magic carpet to the Harvest Festival and to see whether you have won the Prize Cheese of the show. Sincere greetings and thank you again for having let me experience Central Africa practically first hand. AR1

You are tremendously kind. I plan to do some more entries on Botswana and Swaziland as I have lived in both and as no-one questions the veracity of anything I write. A month in H2G2 and I know that if I steer clear of pop-culture I am home and dry (not that I would be so shallow as to lie)!

Now, although I did spend time in Hong Kong, I am in Bahrain (... in H2G2-esque, it’s an archipelago of 33 islands in the Arabian Sea ... ) which obviously deserves an entry or two.

Your mention of Plumtree brings to mind an epic journey I once undertook from Francistown to Vic Falls, via Bulawayo. Having gone to the trouble of arriving at 5am at Francistown Station to catch the train through to Zimbabwe, we (3 of us) found that another train had derailed somewhere near the border. Although our train arrived in Francistown on time, it didn’t depart for over 14 hours. You can imagine the train was disgusting by the time we got going. Then, eventually, when we reached half way, near the border, we met loco-to-loco with the Zimbabwean train coming the other way. All passengers from both trains had to disembark, and scamper in the African darkness to the opposite train. All at one, it was the madness and chaos that I’ve only seen in WW2 films. Fantastic.

Trout

Dear Sir(?)Trout,
Dear Sir Montague.

Personally I think the second one sounds better!!.

Would you believe it if I told you that I had gone to lunch to meet some new arrivals from -yes you have guessed it - Mbabane!! Life is really strange.

So you are in Bahrain. You certainly choose the hottest places to go to.

I wonder how I ever stood the heat in Africa. Now I can barely bear the summer heat here in the Uk.

You say that people do not question you about your entries!!. I only know that there is a game park in Botswana which my children go to. And they always sleep on the top of their 4 wheel drive with the children sleeping inside. Now the children are grown up and so it is just Mum and Dad who sleep on the top I presume they are under nets if possible.

But at their ranch in the Tuli block they had a HUGE python who had made his home in a large hole in the middle of the tree. I can assure you that when I sat under that tree I was always in a state of alarm just waiting to rush off at the slightest moment. There were monkeys in the treees and they used to scare the daylights out of me.

I know nothing about Bahrain so you can say what you like. I shall not be able to challenge you!!.

Good night and greetings from AR1

You train journey to Francistown sounds entirely feasible. Who else would think of transferring all the passengers from one train to another when they meet head on on the single track. Certainly not the West. We would just crash into one another sadly and lots of lives would be lost.

The African is extremely resourceful that is why I think people are so unkind about conditions there and the solutions they have been obliged to devise.

Good night AR1

Swaziland it is then.

Watch out in Peer Review

Who do you know from Mbabane then?

I met the Headmaster of the Junior School and his wife and one son yesterday at lunch. Most charming people.
Regards AR1

Not Sifundzane School, I think - the son of the Principal (a headmistress) ski-ed (sp?) for Swaziland in the 5-ringed circus. He was best man at my wedding.

"Cool Runnings"

Mont.

PS - How to get married by the District Commissioner in Hhohho District would be a lovely topic.

Hi, I shall check and let you know. I do not know the name of the school. I have had a busy day and need to go to bed as it is LONG past my bedtime. Kind regards. AR1