h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hrm, I seem still to be stuck in that pesky garret from last week...

Could be worse. You are currently giving the same sage advice that my mother gives. She, however, advises wiping dropped food on a clean pair of trousers after the hallucinogenic (however you spell it) bacon incident.

Your mother sounds like a wise woman with an extraordinary talent for drawing cartoons... oh, hang on, that's me. Hallucinogenic bacon... yes, that happens to me all the time: is this a rasher I see before me?

Oh no you're not!

shazz

Aha! I knew that that first posting was a hostage to thread obsolesence. What will my future biographer make of it all? I'll just have to give him a pay rise when the time comes. Thanks shazz. You're feeling better now?

Yes thanks - apart from this snotty head cold and sore throat which developed mysteriously on Monday - maybe I can play the consumption card too?

Something tells me it is about to get worse as the tiles in the loo beckon to be painted and that stuff really strips the lining from the throat!

shazz

Oh yes, play that card for all it's worth. And if you stand near the camel you can blame him for the gobs of phlegm. I knew he must be good for *something*.

What an excellent idea!

*Dons mask, goggles, deep sea diving suit and flippers*

Wish me luck - I am about to descend into the depths of epoxy-based hell

*Reads and translates instructions on tin*

Hmmm... I should have read these BEFORE putting all this stuff on!!!

*Settles down to wait for correct nuclear reaction to start in the tin, coughs - and the inside of the diving helmet turns a fetching shade of pink*

How am I doing?

shazz

TB *and* deep sea diving gear. Kinky. I like it.

shazz

I don't know, TB goes with wearing something white and flouncy. The diving suit is normally worn by the crusading hero as he rescues the maiden and returns her to her consumptive aunt, who then reveals the location of the diamond before expireing in a soft focus way and being buried under the rosebush along with the family hamster. So I'm afraid I now have trouble placing Shazz in this chap book of ours.

Ahhh... but what am I wearing underneath the diving suit? eh? eh?

shazz

~big grin~... Not those frilly knockers again Shazz...

Greebs..xx

er... ~grin~... Me did notice the spelling mistake... but giggled so much when me saw it... that me decided to leave it in... me means knickers of course... but then... whatever takes your fancy... ~wink~

Greebo - you are incorrigible!

shazz

~bigger giggle~... Me decided to change that last spelling mistake... the word mispelled was wink... me shall not say what was there before... goodness knows what me is thinking about today... will go and lie down for a few hours now... before I break h2g2... and the mods chase me away...

Greebs..xx

Best you wash your delicate pink mouth at before you do then Greebo - what on earth would Stooby say!

Personally I blame spimcoot - not sure what for, but he's bound to have a hand in all this somewhere!

shazz

Tis the subject me thinks... got me into a tiz... ~grin~

Can I forgo the soap wash... tastes dreadful don't you know... and anyway... if it's spimmie's fault... then me thinks you should give the soap to him... would help with the stains as well...

Greebs..xx

Wise words from a sagaceous cat!

spimcoot - where are you? I have something for you!

shazz

*Nestles down with an empty to watch, this should be interesting*

I'm forever blowing bubbles, as I believe Michael Jackson used to say.

Of course, I'm honoured that you all think me so filthy but let me assure you that, being a gentleman, if I *did* have a hand in anything then it was carefully warmed first.