h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* What does Christmas really mean to you?

It means stress when we stay at home.

* Do you feel pressure to enjoy Christmas? Do you find it overly loaded with mawkish sentiment? Or is it genuinely a special time for you?

Nobody expects me to enjoy Christmas, the pressure is to enjoy New year's Eve.

* Are you a practising Christian? Do you think consumerism has devalued and obscured the original spiritual meaning of the Christmas celebration?

I'm not religious. I don't recall Christmas having ever been religious in my life time. I think consumerism has been there for centuries.

* Did you prefer the Christmases of your youth or have they got better as you've got older?

I certainly was excited about Christmas when I was small, but it was a fraught time even then. We always had to 'behave' like adults.

* Does Christmas start too early? What's the earliest you've ever seen Christmas stock or advertising displayed in your local shops?

I think the last week of August was the earliest I've seen Christmas sweets in a shop, and I think it's absurd. I never buy them before December.

* Does Christmas make you sad for any reason? Do you dread this time of year and end up drinking yourself stupid emerging in a foggy blur once the festivities have ended?

I don't drink, but Christmas is not a season I look forward to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qe9kgRADkEM

(It's not 'that' bad every year, though.)

* What's your family like at Christmas? Is it all a soft focus picture perfect scene of Bing Crosbyesque domestic bliss? Or do you end up nearly killing each other like a bad scene from EastEnders?

It's fine with my sons and 'my' family (sister, parents). Apart from that, see above.