The h2g2 Poem

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Ode to 24
Dedicated to five characters from the acclaimed TV series 24 who,
in the poet's humble opinion, died sadly premature deaths

Rick's Friend

Rick's friend got it on with Janet who was possibly a bit of a slapper

Which is bad, but not as bad as Rick's friend as he was a kidnapper

And as careers go that isn't the best.

He slung Kim Bauer in the back of his van

Then took her off to be held captive and (in theory) eventually shot by Ira Gaines who was

a nasty man

And Ira proved this by shooting a great big hole in Rick's friend's chest.

But just as Rick's friend fell, no longer alive

The credits came up for the end of episode five.


Alas poor Janet

Who at the start of the series did not know her days on the planet

Were numbered.

And following being run over by a car

She was smothered by a man we'd all previously thought was her Pa

While she slumbered.

She had a bit of thing for that friend of Rick's

And departed our screens in episode six.


Adios to little Jamie (she always struck me as unhealthily thin)

But I was much taken with her pointy chin

Which she always kept up.

But then she was found out as a traitor

And rather than explain to her little boy Kyle why he had such a corrupt mater

She killed herself with a tea cup.

That pointy chin looked really fine

But like I say she killed herself in episode nine.


Let us weep also over the corpse of Ira Gaines

Criminal mastermind prone to murdering senators and arranging for lesbians to blow up


In flight.

Eventually chased around and shot by Jack for trying to kill Senator Palmer

Gaines should really have invested in some decent body armour

And then he could have been all right.

A man whose conscience probably wasn't especially clean

Off he popped in or around episode thirteen.


When Alan first appeared he claimed to be the lovely Janet's dad

But it turned out he was actually a bad


His real name was Kevin and he did not appear troubled by this lie

Little did he realize he was would eventually see all his friends blown sky


Victim of a fate both capricious and mean

That assassin who looks like a male model (though I'm not jealous, obviously) shot him in the head in episode fourteen.

smiley - wowsmiley - wowsmiley - wowsmiley - rosesmiley - wowsmiley - wowsmiley - wow

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