Okay, so you know you are a carer. You have panicked. You have realised you have no money to spare. You have panicked again. There is no need (you can't afford it anyway) but there is a solution: read a load of books. Couldn't afford a couple of the letters in that last word, there.

You're obviously going to want to know all about what you caree (I know it's not a word, but Microsoft says that about one word in ten anyway, so sod it) is suffering from. You want to know so you can understand their suffering, you want to know so you can get a handle on their treatment, but mostly you want to know so you don't get made to feel like a moron by your smug consultants.

First things first, visit the official website of the national association of the illness in question. There's bound to be one, there's a fly crawling around my laptop screen who has a website. Anyway, with a bit of luck they'll give you a list of recommended reads. Check your local library. You will find it has very few of them. Some of those it does have will be out, some will be lost and some will be at other libraries. You will be left with one leaflet which patently tells you almost nothing of use, and one door-stop volume which will tell you everything you could ever conceive of wanting to know about your new interest, much of it in Latin. You will have to read this, probably repeatedly, in order to get to grips with the content. You may find it helps to make notes, scribble in the book, or treat it as a revision exercise and revise a chapter a week or something. I don't know, it's your mind, not mine.

Whatever it is, it's really worth understanding the illness you're dealing with, as it's often quite simple if you can get some sort of handle on it, in principle at least. Unfortunately, things that are simple in principle include Einstein's Theory of General Relativity, Latin and Microsoft Windows. The point being, it may not be easy, but learning what you can will still help, even if it only makes you feel as if you're doing something constructive. Having gathered information from books you must try, if you can, to put this together with the practical knowledge of your medical professionals/ witch doctor¹. You may find that much of what you thought you knew from books you have read is total rubbish. It's probably not wise to start acting as if you knew what you were talking about. You don't. Tell your doctor you have read a piece of information or advice and ask them if it is accurate and relevant in this case. They should be able to help you understand the condition better, if they are any good as a doctor. It may also be worth your while getting, if they are prepared to give it, written consent from your caree² to speak to their medical team about their otherwise private medical information, as you may find plenty of occasions when this is useful to both of you.

That's probably as much as I can tell you, really. Panic, learn. Panic, Learn More. Panic less, keep learning. Repeat as required. Rinse. Good luck. Oh, and talk to people. Tell them you care.

Also, if you're ready, why not visit us ³ at Carers of H2G2.

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