h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*wriggling up through hole in floorboards, heading for indian*

*Styx seeing bridle on bunkbed, bites through reins, then bounds into middle of room*

SQUEAK! *demon rat rusty nasty noise*

*the Apes in the bunkhouse hear the commotion over at the Ranch house and start to ring the warning triangle at the entrance. The Apes start an emergency muster and surge out of the bunk house donning weapons and dressing at the same time*

*one of them eyes the Rat suspiciously*

[Zero stealthily dashes away. Hopefully the apes don't notice him.]

*Takes one last swig and keels over on the bunk. Loud snoring ensues.

Tontello warily eyes the rat from his perch, standing on a chair.*

Tontello: Nice Ratty, Ratty, Ratty. Tontello give you pemmican if'n you go away.

*Tontello reaches into the pouch at his waist and pulls out a hunk of pemmican. He breaks off a piece and throws it into a corner of the room.*

Tontello: There. Heap good food. Eat'm food.

*Tontello bites off a piece of pemmican, and mimes great enjoyment.*

The Lone Jello and Tontello left the premises a while ago to go search for Lil. Tontello's tracking led them towards the indian village.

*the door to the bunkhouse flies open*

The Posse is here ! The Posse is here !!!

*Apes and Jello's fall out of their beds, crawl from underneath bunks nursing hangovers and appear from underneath piles of bedding and clothes. There is panic and confusion as everyone runs around looking for guns, rifles and pants*

*shakes head in disbelief*

/* Zeppo runs into the bunkhouse followed by an errant gnu. Both join in the scattered running around of the jellos, the gnu causing considerably more damage than Zeppo. */

*shakes head in disbelief again adding a forehead slap for good effect*

/* Zeppo barks at the gnu, sending it into a crazed, mouth-foaming panic. It spins on its front hooves, kicking with its rear legs like a bronco and sending anything and anyone near it flying. */

*sea's horse runs up, with sea holding on for dear life*

*soeasilyjello'd goes flying across the bunkhouse and is impaled on a hat and coat stand. Before expiring the jello gasps something about Montanna, a lumberjack called Frank and a secret double life as a drama student in California. Before anyone can quiz sej about this deathbed confession the jello dies taking the secret to the grave*

*shakes fist* i'll get you yet!!!

*sea enters the bunkhouse cautiously, guns drawn*

*she sees the remains of sej on the floor and grimaces*

<-- wags his tail at sea while dodging a gnu kick.

*thinks: wow, that zeppo is some dog! *

*reaches into Pocket-of-Destiny and pulls out a length of rope, which she quickly ties into a lasso and spins above her head*

hold him steady, zeppo, and i'll drag 'im outside!

*sea throws the lasso toward the gnu, hoping to catch him*

/* Zeppo sees the rope toy, leaps up, catches it in mid-air, and begins tugging it in the middle with sea holding one end and the other end firmly around the gnu's neck. The gnu kicks over a bunk bed, crushing a hiding red-shirted Jello. */

no, zeppo! argh!

*tries to drag both zeppo and the gnu outside*

/* Zeppo tries to drag both sea and the gnu outside. The gnu loses some ground. */