h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We smokers are a simple breed, we can't run very fast or climb a large flight of stairs so please leave us alone.

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A882407

I'd applaud and break out into a raucous cheer - but it would probably end up as a coughing fit, so I'll just quietly clap

Oh and in my experience, it's not the non-smokers who cause the friction... The worst person in the world for a smoker is a self-rightous ex-smoker

Ex-smokers are the devil's own breed. I put it down to jealousy- they no longer get the pleasure, so they can't stand to see anyone else enjoying a fag

Mind you, health fanatics can be almost as bad....

I hate smoking. I have never smoked my own cigarettes and resent being forced to smoke other people's. I hate the way they smell, and the way that it just "clings" for days afterwards. I hate it when I have a cold and sneeze into a hankerchief that reeks just because it was in my pocket the night before when I was down the pub. I hate having to stand next to people on the bus or the tube who smell like a tobaconists after an arson attack. I hate the wheeze I get in my chest when I'm not well and someone's been smoking near me (and I'm *not* asthmatic) I hate seeing smoking-based litter everywhere I go.

I'd really like it if no-one would smoke anywhere near me ever. However, for some people it's a vital part of going out, and I suppose at the moment my choice is to either get smoked on or not to go drinking at all. I'm glad to see that things have changed to the extent that it's not automatically okay to smoke in restaurants any more.

Having said all that, I think that the personal liberty arguments are still strong ones - freedom in "self-regarding actions" and all that. I certainly wouldn't condone snatching cigarettes from smokers - that's theft or criminal damage (at best) or assualt (at worst). If someone wants to smoke in a corner of a field, in non-crowded streets, and is prepared to clean up after themselves, then I have no problem with that. Just don't do it near me.

Otto

Why shouldn't we do it near you? We don't like pointed coughing, tuuting and glaring either. Why should we be the ones that have to go out of our way to find somewhere deserted to smoke. Why shouldn't you find somewhere out of the way not to smoke?

Though of course, Phillip Morris deserve some sort of recognition in this years 'Irony Awards';

http://www.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,3604,847659,00.html

Oh nice one chaps, nice one. Practicing what you preach, and all that

C'mon, the best part of a night out is waking up with a half eaten take away next to you, a cigarette lodged in you back teeth and a raging hangover, and then trying to figure out

a) where you are
b) who that is next to you
c) what you did the night before
d) how you going to get home

Live life to the full!

Sorry, discovered this entry a little late, but can I just say... bravo!

What a fantastic piece of writing.

*sparks up a Marlboro and re-reads the entry*

Agreed (cough cough)

excuse me while I go outside for a smoke (we don't smoke inside, rather silly really)
.
Helelou

Let's hear a moment of silence for the late Marlboro Men who gave their lives so that we might enjoy fuller flavor.

"Wayne McLaren, one of these Marlboro cigarette cowboys died of cancer in 1992 at the age of 51. The original Marlboro Man, David Millar, Jr. died of emphysema in 1987. The widow of Marlboro Man David McLean, who died of lung cancer, sued the company for damages. Other tobacco spokesmen such as David Goerlitz, the Winston Man from 1981 to 1987, was disabled by a stroke in his mid-30s. He lost feeling in his left leg, left side of his face and lost his sense of taste. Will Thornbury, a Camel model, died of lung cancer at age of 56 in 1992; and Janet Sackman, a former Lucky Strike girl in the 1950s lost her voice box and part of a lung to cancer (Plain Truth April, 1993 p. 28)."

from http://www.tvacres.com/admascots_marlboro_man.htm

Also, we can totally drop the whining arguments of inconvenience to non-smokers who endure this worse-than-farts behavior from addicts. That's the least of your worries or our worries. The better argument that lawyers have been pushing to legislate tobacco companies out of existence is perfectly logical and perfectly just: your freedom to smoke is outweighed by the damage it does to our health care system and the costs it forces on the rest of us.

Sorry for that rant. It's an amusing article, Moonbuggy, and I would certainly never grab a cigarette out of someone's mouth like that. But joking about the Marlboro Man seems rather tasteless in light of the fact that some of them died from obvious smoking-related illnesses.