The Quest

0 Conversations

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is a work of fiction. Characters are intended to be amusing caricatures of their h2g2 counterparts, and the author means no offense in the use of researchers' names and characters. I don't even portray sea accurately. In short, please do not be offended. Your inclusion in the story simply means that I like you, so be flattered!


'sea! sea?!'

Someone was shaking sea at an ungodly hour of the morning, and she wasn't happy about it. She rolled over, trying to ignore him, but he persisted. Her hand landed on a boot, and she twined the laces around her fingers.

'sea! Get up, sea.'

sea groaned. She peeked through one eye to locate the offender, then swung at his head with the boot. The intruder yelped and leaped back, narrowly keeping his head attatched to his shoulders.

'I'll warn you now: my aim will improve the more you annoy me.'
sea growled.

'Allright, so I'll stay out of boot swinging range, but you need to get up. Someone's here to see you.'
It was Yo. Figures that he would want to torture her; after all, she had tortured him for a long time when they dated.

'Bloody zarking men.'
sea muttered.

'Tell whoever it is to zark off. Feel free to quote me on that.'

Yo sighed as sea rolled over.

'I really didn't want to have to do this...'

Yo picked up the bucket from the floor, and sea's ears perked up. Her eyes opened and shifted toward Yo, then narrowed. She began to sit up. Yo knew his time was short, so he threw the water at her and bolted out the door.

Across the puddle, in France, a little girl looked up as a scream of rage was heard in the distance.

Yo ran out the door, past a startled Red Dog, who was standing in the door.

'She's awake, sir, just ask you asked, but if I were you, I'd be careful!'

Mere seconds later, a very wet and very enraged-looking sea stomped into the hall. Red Dog's eyes widened, and he backed out the door. sea's eyes narrowed.

'I don't suppose you know where Yowuzupman is,'
said sea, in a voice that was terrifyingly calm, and made the little hairs on the back of Red Dog's neck stand on end.

'Ah, no, actually, he came running out here; nearly knocked me over. He went straight out the door.'
Red Dog rested his hand on the 9mm he wore in a shoulder holster under his coat. sea was making him really nervous.

sea pondered this for a moment.

'Hmm. Pity. Please, come sit down while I get dressed.'

sea turned and went back into her room. Red Dog breathed a sigh of relief, then nearly jumped out of his skin when someone knocked on the window behind him. It was Yo.

'Psst! Red Dog!'
Yo waved him over to the window.

'How mad is she?'

'You mean, is she Flowers Mad, Candy Mad or Jewellery Mad?'
Red Dog quipped.

Yo shook his head.

'Those categories don't work with sea. With her, it's Weapons Mad, New Toy Mad or Revenge Mad. As you can probably guess, even trying to make it up to her by buying weapons can be dangerous. And you really don't want her revenge mad.'

Both men jumped as sea threw the door open. Yo hit the deck, expecting the worst.

sea raised an eyebrow at Red Dog.

'If that was who I know it probably was, tell him I'm New Toy mad, and he'd better make it good or I'll quickly progress to Revenge mad. Please, come this way.'

Red Dog threw a sympathetic look at Yo before following sea into her office.

What on earth does Red Dog want? What does Yo's penance for making sea New Toy Mad entail? Find out next week!

The Quest Collection


23.05.02 Front Page

Back Issue Page

Bookmark on your Personal Space

Conversations About This Entry

There are no Conversations for this Entry



Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry


h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more