I have just finished the book, Bridget Jones's Dairy by Helen Fielding, it's very good, much like the film, but do you know what I find the most odd? There are no cows in it, how can you have a book about a dairy, and not have cows... the film had no cows either and I found this very disturbing indeed.


I am now starting on The Edge of Reason, I do not expect cows this time, so hopefully will not be disturbed, I shall have to wait and see.

I am quite willing to answer all questions and queries regarding this subject, and if wanted I can help with problems from researchers via e-mail. Due to time restrictions I cannot reply to each
individual E-mail personally, but will give the answer to your problems on the Horror Scope page. Please send your letters and queries to me
Mystic Greebs.

The Horror Scope is divided rather neatly up into twelve sections, January through to December, and you will be able to tell which section you fall under by looking to the day you joined h2g2.

For those of you with limited understanding, I will explain further. If you joined h2g2 on the 25^th April 2001, then your section will be April and you can read your future under that section heading.

JANUARY

An upcoming sporting event is playing heavily on your mind, you want to see as much of it as possible, but you know that it will upset others if you do. Try to come to a compromise that will make everyone happy, as this will make life easier for you in the long run.


FEBRUARY

The planets are moving out of alignment now, and you might feel a little sad this weekend, try not to dwell on things that you cannot change, and instead concentrate on the things that you can. Uranus is itching to come into prominence, try to keep it in the background, or you will regret it.


MARCH

Good times are here, I feel that you have a lot to look forward to in the coming weeks, and that most things will go your way. A word of warning though, try to stay away from anything painted, as I feel a bad aura surrounding paint and you.


APRIL

The Wobble of the Jelly reveals that you will be shortly receiving a sum of money, it also reveals that they will be winnings from a competition or quiz. Oh, and before I forget, you have remembered that you owe me that money you borrowed the other week.


MAY

A sharp pain in my left leg warns me to tell you that you have forgotten something important, it is best to try and remember what it is now, than to get home and find out the hard way. If all else
fails, pretend you have amnesia and forget everything, even reading this... See, you have nothing to worry about now.


JUNE

Your attempt to join a new club or society will fall flat, but don't be glum, anything that refuses to let you join are obviously not worth joining in the first place. Go one better, start your own
club/society and beat them at their own game.


JULY

The Tea Leaves show someone with a short stick in their hand will visit you this weekend, I also see a very tall stranger and some kind of bird with a letter in its beak. The colour black and pointy hats will also play a large part in the proceedings, along with several balls and a dog called Fluffy.
Sounds kinky to me, but who am I to judge?


AUGUST

The Whingy has a message for you from a person you once saw on the stage whilst eating a bag of popcorn. 'When I told you, 'break a leg', I never meant you to take it literally.'


SEPTEMBER

I foresee a long journey ahead of you, possibly by car, or train, or plane, or bus, but not by bicycle. Maybe a taxi would be a good idea, or you could get a lift from a friend, or if you are feeling very fit you could walk. Walking is good for you, but it may take you some time, so you had better book a holiday, two weeks should cover it, or possibly three, depending on how fast you walk.


OCTOBER

A heavy mist obscures the Crystal Ball this week, a truly significant event, full of mysterious signs and portents - or maybe it just shows that it's time that I gave up smoking!!!


NOVEMBER

Be wary of strangers bearing folders calling on your doorstep this Friday, they are not what they seem. The colour Peacock Blue is lucky for you at the moment, try to incorporate into your life as
much as possible.


DECEMBER

The dregs at the bottom of the Coffee Mug reveal that a few little known facts about you will come to light this weekend. Don't worry, an extra nipple is not so bad, and the 'map of the London
Underground' birthmark is quite cute, oh, and the missing little toe is quite charming. The hunch takes a little getting used to though, and that habit of swinging on bell ropes is a bit odd, but, who cares really, you are still you, and we love you.

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