h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Scottish Claymores - American Football Team - A744284
Author: Lost in Scotland (Not liking work at the moment.) - U178076

Hi all.

I've had this lying about the Writing Workshop for a while, but the comments have seemed to dwindle, which I take as a sign that no one has any more points to make aboout the entry.

Anyone in here fancy a shot at it?

This is clearly so good that it can't even generate a response from the PR gestapo!

Well, either that, or no one's interested in American Football.. One of the two.

So it's "the guide to life the universe and everything that the scouts care about" now is it?

hiya,

i admit it! i haven't looked at this coz i'm not interested in AmFootbal!

just flicking through it (can you flick through something on a screen?) it looks very good indeed.

i'll try to muster some impartiality and selflessness together and read it proply some time soon...

and that's my best offer, so don't start haggling!

spiff

An honest resourceful all-round good egg-head. That's what I like about Spiff.

we godda stop meeting like this! People will talk...

Well I wasn't going to comment as LiS came to me to ask for advise before putting it into Peer Review so I pre-Peer Review Reviewed this.

Spiff, I'd say that someone that is not itnerested in AmFootball would be the best to go through the article as they would be able to point out any abreviations or terms that are unclear and not explained properly.
Please take your time, I'm not in any rush. I've been fiddling with this entry since about May, so it's not like there's any panic, or anything.

DD, your pre-Peer Review review () was much appreciated.

Hi, Lost in Scotland!

If I was a scout I'd be feeling very guilty to see that this is still in Peer Review, when much less well-finished entries have been accepted.

But since I'm not a scout, all I need to do is agree with the reviewers who have said that this is a very good entry. (From the point of view of someone whose only knowledge of American Football comes from reading mystery stories - I think the only American Football I've ever seen was the match in the film M.A.S.H., and I doubt if that was typical )

I have only a few short comments:
I think the subheaders in the Claymore Greats section would look better in the form:
Jim Criner - Coach
Scott Couper - Wide Receiver
Siran Stacey - Running Back
Rob Hart - Kicker
Anyone like me is going to have to check the footnotes straight away to find out what S and WR and K mean. If you put the subheaders as above, then a casual reader will guess from the 'Kicker' one that the others are playing positions, and you can leave the footnotes for more detail about what those positions mean.

The singular/plural contradiction of 'The Claymores is a team' sometimes sounds confusing. 'The Claymores play their home fixtures at Hampden Park Stadium in Glasgow, and has had Hampden as their home venue' sounds wrong: if it's singular, then it would be 'The Claymores plays... and has had Hampdon'. I think the plural sounds more natural: 'The Claymores play... and have had Hampdon'.

The sentence starting 'As the Claymores is a team consisting mostly of American players having been allocated to Europe..' sounds more natural to me with '...American players who have been allocated to Europe'.

Anyway, these are small points about an excellent entry... I would be quite happy if this entry got picked right now!

Azara

Thanks, Azara.
These comments do help me as I admit to mixing things up every now and then. Changes will be made.

Is this entry ready to go into the Guide or do you need a little more time to work onit?

Let me know either way!

I'm pretty happy with it the way it is, Ashley. Ready to go, methinks.

Unless, of course, someone has any other comments about it.

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

for Lost in Scotland!

and more for Doctor Montague for drawing attention to this entry...


Azara