h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Okay: Note to bloggers: No matter how enticing the software, stick to the basics, and remember that some of us are visually impaired.

Or, as our editorial advisor said to us back at uni: 'That chocolate brown on blue looks sooo cool.

To which I replied: 'This is a science journal, and it ought to look professional. Let's keep the costs down, and our dignity intact.'

Also: Musical accompaniment is NOT cool if it is played on a MIDI. No, really. Trust me on this.

I will attempt an example.

Belana waited impatiently for a bus.

As it should be. Grammatically correct. Staightforward.

Impatiently, Belana waited for a bus.

Although the adverb is misplaced, this tells us a little more about Belana's waiting.

Belana waited for a bus. Impatiently.

Grammatically incorrect. But this tells us about Belana, and adds a hint of menace - because of the 'short sentence', you want to know more.

That's as it seems to my miseducated soul, anyway, painting with words. I'll send you "Eats shoots and leaves" for Christmas. (Christmas!!)

P

Everybody makes me laugh today. That's nice. And your example is not what I mean. I'll send you a link for Christmas.

I think Dmitri's right. It's finding the vivid image that is key to interesting writing. Style is important but I don't think that there are any rules that can't be broken.

Many creative writing gurus say you shouldn't use adverbs. So, your example might be "Belana waited for a bus. She kept taking a few paces towards the corner round which it should appear, then returning. From time to time, she checked her watch."

But "Belana waited impatiently for the bus" is shorter. And why does the language have adverbs if they're no use?

Some people say that you shouldn't use similes. I know from poetry that metaphors can be stronger, but should we ban similes? I doubt it.

Good thoughts all, MVP. Maybe we could say that while it's a good rule of thumb do use technique X, a skillful person could find a use for, say, technique Y?

All those laundry lists can be boring, but a laundry list might be what you wanted...sometimes. Maybe if you were describing the way a teenager thought.

>>And why does the language have adverbs if they're no use?<<

That is a great statement, and should be a quote. How about 'use adverbs judiciously'? (Like the little girl in a tv advert over here, who sells the product by tripping over the word 'judiciously' in such a charming way.)

My complaints about adverb misuse:

1. People misplace them. They say, 'He wants to quickly tell us', rather than 'He wants to tell us quickly.'

2. People use them lazily. 'Bel waited impatiently for the bus' is not as good as 'Bel stood at the bus station, tapping her foot and staring at her watch. "Would it help if I whistled Dixie?" she wondered, then tried to remember the words to that song. She had got to the part where she needed to email Dmitri, who would probably give her a lecture on the history of the cakewalk, when the aged piece of machinery lumbered up with a cough of exhaust.'

3. They use 'overly', which is NOT the right adverb, instead of 'over', which is. 'Bel thought that she was probably worrying overmuch.' (Not 'overly much'. Yes, 'too much' is MUCH better.)

Okay, I will stop being silly and just thank MVP again. She's right - it's not rules, it's the focus...

AND a desire to let your reader in on what you can see behind your eyelids. Please be generous with the old detail.

My small, fluffy dog just let out something between a snore and a sigh, from under the chair where I am typing. It's a pleasant mid-morning in fall, and we are both vaguely sleepy... (Is 'vaguely' a permissible adverb?)

Wow, what a lot of brilliant advice.

I've probably been an offender of a lot of the points you make, Dmitri, but my excuse it that I never learned any of that at school (and at uni, they expect you to know everything, they don't teach you anything).

Well do I know that refusal to explain. That's why I had to go back to the US and enroll in a Latin class with the 'ginners after learning all those medieval dialects. (I do everything out of order.)

We all go through life, suddenly finding some tiny thing we didn't know about. Isn't that the joy of it all?

Oh, it certainly is. And this is the AWW at its best. I love that.

When I write something provocative, I never exclude myself from the offenders of what I write about. It's always meant to spark some healthy debate, for me to learn, and as a reminder to myself of what to avoid.

That's a good way to do it.

Hi folks! Interesting discussion. I'm taking note of all these suggestions and I thank you for them!

yes 'tis an interesting discussion! ... I've just found it .. a bit too late ... .. typical me .. .. as I came to it via DG's article in ....so all my rather peculiar contributions to the discussion are over in ...or in curious messages to MVP about Emily Dickinson ...

sorry folks .. even after all these years I get my h2 navigation in a mix .. .. ..

H

actually I will stop being lazy and post here also ... from the post to the post ... hahahah .. hmm ...

and I am sorry about the dots .......... its how I write when I am trying to talk and be inspired at the same time .........

in essence ... in this daydream I had last night .. yes yes .. a daydream in the night ... ... I saw a curious person scratching what seemed to be the first words ... the Logos ... In the beginning was the Word sort of thing ... on the walls of what appeared to be a jail ... which then changed into a cave ... and on the walls was growing moss and funny green plants .... like new shoots ....

... and what came to me was that this daydream was trying to tell me (but not necessarily anyone else ... ) .... that despite the differences of opinion to do with writing styles and it all ...what I have to hold in my heart is that the original gift of writing is a miracle and one of the greatest gifts given to humankind .... and the magic essence of writing will always renew .. sort of like green shoots and Logos and everything .. know what I mean ...

I kind of like my daydream .... and good to share it.



....but I do admire editors having to sort it all out .... and erm .... I just got hired by Bel to be the person who makes the coffee on .. for the editors .... heheheheh .. but that's just a joke we are having .. 'cos I don't know much about writing technicques or how to be an editor ....or coffee making for that matter

H

That's what we needed, a person.

I know that jail. I know that cave. That is a wonderful dream, thank you or sharing it.

I agree about writing being a miracle and a gift. None of us would be here if it wasn't for writing.

And your is great, thank you.

Thanks ... ... here's another cup for you ... ... ..

now I'm worried that my peculiar posting has killed the debate ... so .... in the spirit of risk .......here I am again ..... yikes ...



but firstly .... thanks for listening to my dream ... .. of course now I have to go out there and live it ... ..see where it takes me .. which is the tough part ... maybe it will even lead me on to learn more about the craft of writing??? ... .. oh no! this is most worrying .. .. I pride myself on being content in my private world of abstract word paintings that are pure therapy and/or prayer and aren't designed to attract a reader .. ..

now I too need a coffee .. ....





I've been re-reading your original article here Bel .. A Reader's Lament .. and all the subsequent postings and ideas ... it is all very interesting ..... annoyingly interesting in fact ... .. as it has got me hooked!!! .... grrrrr .. I love it! thanks ..



So please bear with me and let me ramble on a bit .. to follow this risk of mine .....



I confess that I tend to read things written in the way I write .. in other words I read peculiar stream of consciousness surrealist writings .. and cryptic song lyrics .. and scraps and bits and pieces and fragments.. things like postcards that appear in junk shops .. from some person I will never know .. from some fading hotel .. in some coastal resort .. circa 1950 ... ...



I also confess that I run out of creative writing classes in tears .. because of all the advice and techniques and exercises on how to write .. not that it isn't brilliant advice .. not that I think I am exempt from needing it .. it just reminds me of school .. and that cynical teacher who called me a dunce and ridiculed me in front of the entire English class ... and etc etc ... (I know I'm not alone in this .. ) ..



Also I suspect that my braintype needs to learn in a different way .... and I wonder what that is ...



OK .. on with the spontaneous risk! ... .. and once again forgive the dot dot dots ...... I just can't think any other way right now ...........



So ....alright ...so I have walked into a new writing circle .. the AWW ..... so I want to learn more about the craft of writing ....so that my piece might just be interesting to a reader .... I'm nervous... I will probably run out crying .... etc etc ...



OK .... I don't want to lose my inspirational spark ...the essence of my inspiration ...that prayer/meditation etc that comes from dream... I don't want to lose my abstract word-paintings .... ever ever ever ... .. . because this aspect of writing is my sanity and my soul .....I am very defensive about this .... even if it seems to be not very connected with the traditional craft of writing ..



However I want to learn about the craft of writing also .... especially the part involving the structure.... I want to have both.

So say my writing project is like a sandwich. My abstract word paintings are the filling. The structure is the bread that holds it all together.... the part where I introduce an idea ... a character ... paint a picture that let's the reader in .. that sets the scene ....

Right. OK. How to do that. This is unfamiliar territory to me .. I live in a world of sandwich fillings! ... bring on the bread! ...I like bread. mmm lovely bread.



Now there must be hundreds of techniques for this. All of them will make me cry... however much I like the teacher. . So how will it become exciting for me? ...



I need help by example. Yet there's no point anyone showing me a brilliant famous novel that has attracted readers the world over. That's not who I am. If I am lucky this great project of mine might attract a couple of readers ... .. perhaps in a junk shop ... a postcard I wrote once ... .... uh oh ....

and who would those readers be? in my dreams they would be people like me ...sensitive .. a bit different ..bit lost ..bit found .. wandering through fragments of dream .. .. inspired .. yet in search of some weird scrap of writing to inspire them. ..... hmm ... not in search of entertainment.

hmmm. interesting.

pressure point. (run out of writing group) ... help! ... I have to be an entertainer.

No! I want to be a psychological writer. (yikes. I hope you are appreciating my risk here .. ...) I don't want to be an entertainer...



Hmm ..... .. now where am I? I don't know yet .. .... I seem to have changed tack a bit ... hmm .. wow this is a journey! I have changed since I began this posting ... I am loving it! speak to me writers! can you relate to anything I am saying here?? I really need to know.



I might continue this project with an AWW entry ... in which I will ask for help ... see if anyone is prepared to write my opening lines for me ... my hook ...my bread ... as an example ...

Or maybe I just had to admit about the scary English teacher .. to remove a block ... maybe I will just go back into my private world and dream about sandwich fillings .. or wander through junk shops looking for strange magical angels .. who are looking through boxes of old postcards ..... ... or who are writing strange curious words all over the walls of my brain ....

H

That is a lovely summary of dilemma of writing. To open the heart makes us vulnerable. The need to *communicate* subjects us to the peripheral discipline of other minds.

Peripheral discipline. Not dictatorship. You choose your readers. You choose how far to go to accommodate those readers.

Remember, too - it isn't 'either/or'. It's 'both/amd'. You own your mind. You own your writing. You choose.

I am a right reader for word paintings, but not everyone is. I am perfectly aware that some things I write here meet with general approval, and some things puzzle and irritate. (This is often my intention, and amuses me. )

Could you perhaps think, 'This I write for myself and the 'edle Herzen', the 'noble hearts' who understand this inner journey, and this I write to communicate a simpler idea to someone who marches to a different drummer.'?

For example, your observation about the teacher would be so helpul to another person - one who is struggling to put into words what it is that inhibits their writing. If you could isolate that and describe the incident with clarity and honesty, without the poetry but with the insight, how useful that would be...see?

I'm on a binge of reading Laura Z Hobson. I hope to do a guide entry on her, she's a keeper. But I don't want to write like her, I want to learn from her. She lived from 1900 to 1986. In 1946, she changed the US by writing about antisemitism in polite society there. In 1975 - think how old she was - she wrote a ground-breaking book about her relationship with her gay son.

Hobson's detail, the way she examines every conversation, every ordinary act, is the way she shows us how to become better people. Her stories are full of real, flawed, and interesting people. I can tell you how amazed I am: she's describing people I don't like. Vermonters and other New Englanders. I'm still fascinated.

You're right. If you don't protect yourself against the kind of false criticism that would inhibit your writing, you possibly rob yourself and the world of your gift. I wrote no poetry for 20 years because of a pretentious man at a university. ('You only wrote that because it rhymed...') Go chase yourself, Mr O. I actually write better than you...

But it's possible to find your range without being afraid of that. Just think like a teacher: What don't THEY know yet?

Hi folks! Very interesting. I see room for many different styles of writing. In my own case I don't 'describe' visual details much in my writing ... as an artist, I do that when I paint! I actually find it difficult to describe visual details in writing.

Ah, then you have a goal to work towards.

Your paintings speak to us, because the honest detail-work teaches us how to see.

In writing, it is not necessary (nor is it desirable) to describe everything like a photograph. The trick is to find the 'telling' detail - the one that draws the mind's eye. This uses mental closure to allow the reader to fill in, the way you don't draw every leaf on a tree, maybe. (Excuse, please: you know what I can draw, the blind talking about colour, here.)

Rich once said he often re-read something I had written to see what I'd actually said, rather than what he saw. To which I say, mwahaha...

Our cactuscafe has the gift of the telling metaphor. A phrase sticks in the mind and makes a picture. Even if I didn't know what music she listened to, I would know what kind of music she listened to. The kind that is subtle and hints, leaving the interpretation open to the listener...

wow! how extraordinary and amazing! I am so glad I took that risk! what delicious and interesting and absorbing postings ...what an honour .. I'm a bit shy (blush blush) ...you people know things! am I out of my depth? yes! 'course I am .. .. but I will persist! and thanks!.. and I am really into this now! ... I think I might just hang in here with this writing circle ... I am learning so much already! ...



(even though I might run out crying from time to time.. ...) by the way - for those who don't know me - I am a 55 year old woman at the best time of my life .. hahahah .. my creative peak in fact ....well I will be if I hang out in this writing circle .. ..hmm



I wonder .. when I create my new piece of writing ... my ultimate life's work! .. no .. well .. just maybe a trial piece of writing .. ..if it will show through my words that I am a 55 year old woman? I suppose it will if I want it to ..

... interesting .. someone once said to me that if they just read my writing (separate to knowing who I was) .. they would think it was written by a man ... probably in his 60s ... who maybe was travelling through Arizona ...in search of a shaman .. because he was having some kind of nervous breakdown or near death experience.. ...I was very flattered in fact ....



that's interesting ... do writers like to mask their identity in their writing or reveal it? depends of course on what they're writing .. doh .. yes I know ... but its interesting anyway .. to me....and then there are ghost-writers and pen-names and things ...



I am so inspired by these postings and all this chat that I am going to try to make that sandwich... with a little help from the AWW cafe .. .. ... Not now .. but over the next few weeks or months .. What sandwich? My piece of writing that's like a sandwich ....probably be a simple sandwich ... 'cos I'm only 55 ....just a kid starting out .... start with straight cheese ... maybe leave out the 25 different types of pickle .... for now ... hahaha.

The bread is the structure .. the straight type writing ...that I've never tried before ...

The filling is the abstract poetic bit....

so that I make a piece of writing using two very different styles ..



In my daily life I can snap out of cryptic poetic talk any time I want and talk really straight ...

Can I do this with writing? will it be scary? too exposing? who knows ...

I am hungry for this sandwich! .... it probably won't turn out the way I had it planned .. does anything? hmm ..

....but I just have one problem right now .. what on earth am I going to write about??? ....why do I want to write it??? and who (if I had a choice)do I want to read it???

back to read previous postings to learn things ... then heading off to Arizona .. ..... I'll come back when I'm 60 .. ... only kidding .. sort of

H