A Reader's Lament
Created | Updated Jan 20, 2011
I'm a reader. I started reading before I went to school. My grandma was always found reading. As was my mum. She read to us. A lot. Reading was 'the thing' to do. Fascination reading. I still read a lot. Much of it for editing purposes. I hate when people don't write proper sentences. Or speak. Always insisted my sons build whole sentence. Subject, predicate, object. I never let them get away with less. Yes. A language snob. That's me. I never understood the fuss my dad made when we got bad marks in essays. Now I know. Am the same now.
Assume I wrote about my last visit to London. It would read like this. Arrived at airport at 12.20. took underground to hotel. Checked in. Unpack, tea, shower. Off to embankment to meet friend. More tea. On to monument. Climbed up, splendid view. Got document on descending. Staircase wasn't a problem. Had pizza. Wasn't good. Wine was nice. Back to hotel. Sleep. Up early next morning. Breakfast was good. Met all my h2g2 friends. Did guided walk through town. On to pub. More friends there. Had lots of beer. Back to hotel, short night. Up at 8.00, then shower and breakfast. Back to airport. Arrived home at 3.00.
Did you grind your teeth while reading that? Or would you like to know more? Would you be intrigued to find out what else I did in London? Certainly not. I know I wouldn't. Reading something like that makes me wonder: why would anybody who is too lazy to write proper sentences bother to write in the first place? It mystifies me. I know we're now getting to read articles by the 'Generation Twitter'. Twitter is certainly a space where such sentences may be accepted, because you can't really say a lot in just 140 characters. It is the same with SMS. You have to be brief and use abbreviations. However, in my opinion, those should be exceptions, not the rule. I'm far from being perfect myself. If I hurriedly write an email, or an instant text message in way of conversation, I leave out a few things, too. However, if I sit down and write something I intend to be read by a wider audience, I certainly take my time to carefully phrase my sentences. To me, it would seem rude not to do so. In fact, I feel offended if I have to read something written in this style. I can only name one book which I think profited by such a style. The Shipping News by E Annie Proulx. I only ever read the German translation, so I have no idea if that matches the original. It consists mainly (from what I recall) of staccato sentences, which made for tough reading because I truly dislike that style of writing. However, I thought it suited the content. To me, it conveyed perfectly the rough and cold landscape and the simple and tough life of its protagonist. But that is an exception. Normally, I would put down a book after the first paragraph or maybe after the second (if I'm curious and patient) if it consisted of choppy sentences like those I wrote above.
Maybe it's just me? Maybe my dislike of this sort of writing is helped by the fact that we Germans write long, convoluted sentences? Whatever it is, and however short your sentence may be: please, try at least to write in complete sentences, not in fragments. You don't have to be a second Shakespeare or Chaucer to do so. All it needs is a little bit of effort. Make use of all those little conjunctions. Use adjectives to describe your feelings and your surroundings, and use adverbial phrases and clauses, too. Make something enjoyable of your story. Language is redundant, and strictly speaking, we don't need a lot of the words we use, but they help your reader to understand what you are trying to say. A sentence like 'And one more thing.' followed by some garbled sentence like: With Sally 5'4", Weight Watchers, 5 Stone, and good success.' will leave your reader baffled at best, or make them go and read something else at worst. Go and give a good example to the generations to follow. They will need the balance. If it isn't for all of us showing all the amazing things you can do with language – provided we are in good command of it – how will they learn? There needs to be a balance to SMS and Twitter, and advertisements. They are currently the worst offenders, at least here in Germany. Our children are brainwashed with made-up words which sound English, stupid statements and wrong grammar. It is up to us to give some counterbalance. let's start now!