h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*sweeping in, frowning at the sight of all the dust*

OK, who was supposed to keep this place tip-top?

*casts the LOOK at all male individuals present*

*looks at dust*

*looks guiltily at Kristina*

*puts on face*

It wasn't my fault I just got here

Sorry, I've been out riding. But since you ask I've got a new 2001 VFR 800, definitely the finest motorcycle in the world (after you throw away the standard can and put a Micron can on and run it on leaded) and have recently returned from the Freedom Road Rally in Still Bay (look it up) and the Thunder Rally in Laaiplek (ditto).

Next weekend is the Swallows Rally in Worcester (stay in context here) and after that we go to Welkom for the MotoGP and see how Valentino does on a Yamaha. Should be a hoot and a great ride.

So have been riding rallying and drinking so haven't visited much but keep in touch.

I know that I haven't been around for a while (severe case of crainial - rectal inversion!), and since I do go by 'Janitor' (which I may explain someday) if someone would point out where the mops and brooms got hidden I'll see what I can do.

It's still nasty winter here, very little riding yet, but there is a bike blessing on May the second that I'm going to try to make.

I wouldn't worry too much Ralph - It's only dust, let the ladies take care of it...

*dashes for the door before Kristina has a chance to kill him*

*throws a withering glance at the spot where Pond_Rat was standing just a moment ago - too late*

*the glance accidentally knocks over a cup of instead*

HMMMMPHH! *looking rather like a *

*turns to Ralph hastily rearranging her facial expression into a dazzling smile*

How nice of you to offer! But I'm sure we'll be done in no time at all if we all help!

*steps behind the counter and enters a small room behind it*

*the sound of a door creaking can be heard, followed by some banging and slamming*

*reappears with an armful of buckets, bottles of Mr Muscle, mops, rags and brooms, pulling a vacuum cleaner behind her*

Fine!

*drops all items on the floor, in a heap*

No cleaning, no café, no serving! I *refuse* to clean this mess up all by myself!

*steps behind the counter, thus effectively barring the coffee machine and the beer taps*

*hears the clamouring of cleaning impliments and has sudden attack of the guilts, sneaks in to see if he can help*

Guess I'll just start with the broom in the far corner and work my way towards the door Miss Kristina ma'am, if that's ok by you that is...

*a little grovelling never hurts *

*Taking a break from writing a bike review*

Did someone say beer taps?

*Sights cleaning implements*

Ahhhh....right...well...I can see I'm not needed here...



*Through the open and suddenly empty doorway the sound of a drysdale v8 roaring into life can be heard. The bike screams away...moments later, a tumbleweed rolls across the silent, dusty road...*

Ah, Kristina, since you are blocking the way to the sink also, if I could get you to fill this mop bucket I'll just start in behind Pond Rat. We'll have it looking better in no time. Now if we could just get someone to wipe the chairs & tables we'd be ready for beer sooner.

I think I see where that tumbleweed started from!!

I'll need a beer (or three or so) after this! (I wish I knew a magic trick to make all this dust just go away)

*tries to keep her look but has to at P_R*

Thanks guys, I knew I could count on you!

Beers afterwards are on the house - for those that helped cleaning, that is..

*fills the bucket with water, hands it to Ralph*

*gets a spray bottle and a clean Wettex, starts wiping off the furniture*

*wanders in*

Hello guys

Hi Kristina, the weather is warmer now so I felt it was time to get out and about.

I'll clean the milkshake machine and wipe down the tables.

Thanks Caer!

Hey guys - since the weather is so nice and warm, how about helping me to move the chairs and tables outside? It'll make it easier to swab the floor, too!

*flings the door open wide, grabs a couple of chairs and exits*

*after the joined efforts of Caerwynn, Pond_Rat, Ralf and the proprietoress herself the Bikers Rest is now shiny and clean*

*the latest addition to the coffee shop is a row of beer taps behind the counter*

*the front door is open, letting in fresh air and the sound of chirping birds*

*tables and chairs are set up outside in the sunshine*

Well done everyone! All drinks are on the house - for those who helped, of course..

*thinking if BadZen and on how he has really deserved his name this time - beer will cost him dearly*

*fills a pitcher with Mimosa ( and ), grabs a couple of glasses, heads outside and sinks down on her Sunburst chair*

*wipes her forhead*

*joins Kristina in the sun*

Good job well done, I'd say

*sits down and stretches her legs out*

mmmmm Beer!

*having downed the first in one gulp, heads back inside for another*

Don't mind if I have a couple of beers myself. See, if I get two at once I don't have to come back inside so often. That sunshine looks just fine. ( so do the women!)

*gets up, suddenly remembering something*

*disappears inside, only to return with a big tray with a choclate , a big bowl of fresh and whipped cream*

Happy Birthday Ralph!

Today you can have as many free beers as you want to!

And as for you.. *turns to P_R* ..next one you pour, you pay for - OK?!

Oooooh Happy Birthday Ralph

Mmmmmmm and

Ok, I'll even pay for Ralph's as its his special day