h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh go on, you said you would.

Certainly - what would your whim like?

Well, it's just that I'm going away for the weekend and I thought if I left them here you could look after them for me. Not so much a cattery as a whimmery. You know, feed them sponge cake, play the banjo to them, the odd bout of Mongolian throat-singing - just the usual whim-care techniques. What do you say?

Would be delighted to look after them. Would you like to fill in this registration form?

Just a few details... Name, address, bank details etc. How many of them do you have? Do they have any special dietary requirements? Are they on any medication?

Knowing Awix - probably!

shazz - up to her ears and eyes with this week's football report - and men in shorts

I should just like to make it clear from the start that while I may be doped up to the eyeballs my whims are, to paraphrase Mott the Hoople, a-mooglin' and a-drooglin' and free from drugs.

I shall be depositing three of my whims with you (the fourth I shall keep about my person in the event of me meeting anyone famous on my short break):

Kevin, the smallest of the whims, enjoys a brief banjo recital just before dawn each day. Following meals he rests best if placed into a warm moist indentation and sung to in Basque.

Agrippina, a rare blue-throated whim, is happiest when engaged in some mild physical activity such as caber-passing or whist.

Finally, Bog, the youngest (but, oddly, largest) whim needs only an internet connection, some sponge cake, a lone ranger mask and the 'Great British Churchyards' calendar 2002 to be as happy as a snark in toves.

Does that seem reasonable to you?