h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: New Orleans, Louisiana - History - A728976
Author: cajunrefugee - U187029

I'd like to get some input on this. It's always nice to have constructive criticism. Thank you for your help

great entry! i had to read it because i myself just submitted a relatively tiny article on "Cancer Alley." perhaps you could give me some input!
some advice: i had a bit of a hard time reading the, i think, 3rd paragraph, where i guess it got confusing with all the different Louis's...
good luck! this definitely deserves to get in. well-written, obviously well-researched.

This seems to have the makings of an excellent entry, but I agree with Jane - reading it is really hard work at the moment. Your second sentence, for example, is incredibly long! I also tend to write in very long sentences, as thoughts run on and on, but then I go back and chop them up into more manageable chunks. To make this work you may have to repeat some words in the next sentence, thus ironically increasing the overall word count, but it makes it much more readable and enjoyable.

I humbly suggest you go back and do this, and post here when you have done so, so that we can all have another go. Looking forward to it!

Thanks for the suggestions! I incorporated them into the new version, and it is much clearer now, I think. As for Cancer Alley, give me the link to that, and I'd be glad to take a look.

A la prochaine,
cajunrefugee

Well, I've cut the sentences down into a little bit more digestable chunks, but it could probably still use some condensing. That'll come with time and suggestions.

Speaking of which, thanks for yours!

Cheers,
cajunrefugee

Lots of facts, but sometimes it's a bit over the top. For example, in 'supplemented his boredom by declaring war' -- I guess you won't be able to proof this.

'I don't know' is better rephrased as 'This researcher doesn't know' or somesuch.

typo: 'themsleves' -> themselves

IMHO a couple of headers and subheaders would be a good idea to improve readability

Just as if this entry wasn't already long enough (I *like* long entries) -- What about Mardi Gras? Hint: http://www.mardigrasneworleans.com

All in all, it's definitely Guide bound

Hi, cajunrefugee!

This is really interesting and well worth reading.

A couple of points caught my eye:
You say 'In Spanish Louisiana, even the Creoles, half African and half French, were held in higher esteem than the Cajuns.' But this is one of the terms which has changed meaning over the years - around 1800 'Creole' meant a descendent of French (or Spanish) settlers. It was quite a bit later that the meaning was extended to include people of mixed African descent. Napoleon's Josephine, for example, is often referred to as being from a Creole family, but that didn't mean she had any recent African ancestors. So the higher esteem for Creoles in Spanish Louisiana was the snobbery of those with direct family connections to France looking down on the more rural settlers who had come by way of Acadia.

Your paragraph about the Irish contacts of the IRA is a little out of place in the timeline: you appear to be referring to the period from 1970 onwards, but it's sandwiched in between a paragraph about the Mafia and prohibition on one side, and a paragraph about 1920s jazz on the other. It would be a good idea to move this nearer the end.

Azara

hey again
my entry's at A728985
good luck on this one, sounds like it's going well. i'll have to take another look and see how you revise it.

Howdy Azara,

Thanks for the compliments, I appreciate it.

You make a good point about the definition of "Creole." Still, I have understood the definition to mean a descendant of French or Spanish (forgot about them, oops) and African backgrounds. I guess the point I was trying to make was one about racism, namely that Creoles, who are of Euro-African descent, were held in a higher place in society than full-blooded European descendants, namely Cajuns. In Louisiana, in 1800 (and even today), Creole was a fairly well-defined term and class, limited to those of immediate Euro-African descent (les premiers) or descended from 2 Creoles (les secondes). The definition has been so harshly applied, that even within Creole classes, the distinction is maintained. Case in point, there's a thing called the 'paper bag test.' Depending on the club, krewe, or organization you want entry to, the only question to be answered is "Is your skin lighter than the paper bag?" This is not practiced anymore, but once upon a time it was.

That being said, Creoles in Louisiana were considered to have direct connections to France, either through parentage or marriage. Moreover, as a result of this heritage, they were more likely to own property, the key currency of the period, and thus in better shape than farming emigres fresh off the boat with not much to "offer" high New Orleans society.

My understanding of this could be wrong, and if I am, please send me a reference to research (and anyone out there reading this!).

As for the Irish support of the IRA in New Orleans, I was trying to make a connection between its origins in the Irish Mafia and its outlet after the Italian Mafia gained key economic points in the city. I guess I didn't do that good a job of it, I'll work on it. I'll also work on the timing of it, too.

Thanks Azara for your help,
cajunrefugee

I might add something in there about Mardi Gras in this, but not much. I want to write more extensively about Mardi Gras in another entry. Thanks for the suggestion, though!

Thanks,
cajunrefugee

Howdy Jane,

Did you get my message about your article?

Cheers,
cajunrefugee

I understand you're going to be doing some more work on this, so while you are, here are a few suggestions to think about:

The following seem to be some sort of gumbo and need either some explanation or a different word:
dime bag
pinata
citoyens
the bayous
a legal gumbo

> In Spanish Louisiana, even the Creoles, half African and half French, were held in higher esteem than the Cajuns

Would you mind taking out the word 'even'? I'm sure it's quite unintentional, but some people might find it slightly offensive.

>Spain soon found that ruling New Orleans and Louisiana was no bargain

In what way?

>Bonaparte, in apparent gratitude to Spain for the return of Louisiana under French control

'To' French control.

>Incidentally, New Orleans is the only city on Earth which has a street dedicated to Napoleon.

I think that, for example, both San Francisco, California and Sydney, Australia are both cities on earth.

>the average contemporary Italian government

Suggest 'post-war' rather than 'contemporary'

>it is just a rumor, can not be confirmed or denied

A rumour can certainly be denied.

>the Irish Republican Army (Sinn Fein)

Members of either may well disagree with the implication that they are one and the same.

Belshazzar,

Thanks for the suggestions, especially about "even," yikes, that definitely was not the meaning I was trying to convey. Azara's comment makes much more sense now, taking into account that word.

Appreciate the help,
cajunrefugee

Thanks Sir Bossel, will incorporate!

cajunrefugee