Having been born at a rather unfortunate time in history,(the late seventies) I do feel very bitter about being far too young to enjoy the last recorded time that pop music was vaguely any good.

Although the seventies do have a lot to answer for - i.e. 'woolen' bell bottoms, mood rings and adult jellie sandles to name but a few - it has to be said that this was probably the last time that I can recall where an artist recorded a half decent piece of music that some unsuspecting punter (probably unaware he was doing it at the time) actually went out and bought! In fact, shortly after this decade came to a close the whole ethos of buying music because you appreciate the musical prowess displayed by the artist or you simply just like it, (for no other reason, you simply like it and nobody actually told you to like it) seemed to be shunned by the world community.

All of a sudden, just like that, the world willingly gave in to the evil corporate forces and offered as a sacrifice their free will and freedom. Having sapped the human race of any chance of evolving beyond a herd of retarded, reclining chimps, the evil corporates continued to engulf the whole of the record industry, aided by the apathetic self-centred glitter coated attitude of the eighties.

Unashamed of subjecting the world to inhuman acts like Barbara Streisand, Abba, Bon Jovi to name but a few, the evil continued to ensue, swallowing radio stations and record stores until it procreated, resulting in the birth of 'teen-music-mags' as they were called. Now, at the time it seemed a good idea to get children involved on the whole music criticism thing, judging that all they had to listen to prior to this was a few poorly constructed 'nursery'rhymes' and far-from-satirical limericks, but the actual reason for the introduction of children to music consumerism, was that the evil corporates finally found an aspect of society impressionable enough to believe the drivel they spouted.

Indeed this move (i'm sure this was quite unintentional, judging from the average intelligence of a record company exec) turned out to be quite inspirational, because by controlling the children the evil corporates found that they now had the leverage to manipulate the rest of the human populace, using the raw destructive power of 'nagging-kiddies'. Eventually the nineties dawned, and to start with it seemed that we were in with a chance of cracking this vicous circle with the grunge movement, but the evils got their way and made sure that this grunge movement was short lived. The evil finally manifested itself in its most glorious and destructive form around the turn of the century, when they managed to pass off groups of prancing, low-intellect anorexic trolls - who with the wonders of modern surgery and make-up were made to look human, - as credible musicians.

These so-called musicians then capitalised on this global madness, managed to break their programming and seperated themselves from their collective retard cousins (although the rest of the group were often simply replaced by backing singers/dancers - these people are another embarrassing stage of human devolution) to start (the now well known term) 'the solo career' which was probably the greatest (or worst depending on which side of the fence you sit on) achievment of the evil corporates.

The overiding conclusion to this depressing tale is that there is no logical reason that this could have occured on planet earth without external intervention, and as ascribing the aforementioned events to god would cause everyone to believe that god is in fact a complete numbskull and clearly has no idea what he is doing, and therefore nobody has any particular reason for staying alive resulting in global extinction of lif..... etc. Therefore, again employing logic, it must be concluded that only an evil destructive power could have bought about the mayhem described above, hence Satan aka T.Devil, Lucifer, The Morning Star amongst others must have been responsible and the whole reason the world is in such a poor state now, is that there must have been a big spate of soul selling towards the end of the seventies. Indeed a lot of undeciferable mysteries of the modern age (such as the election of George.W.Bush to office, or France winning the '98 world cup to name but a few) can be solely attributed to the act of selling your soul to Satan, therefore heed fellow humans, be wary of blokes with red skin, goaties and horns tempting you with a seductive part-exchange of your soul for an overnight fling with madame fame, because all that comes out of it is that history remembers you as a complete and utter shameless dork.