h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

::runs into combat throughing "Bobo Spheres" at every enemy sentry he sees::
AHHHHHHH

*Two guards fall before Bobo can reach them. Both were shot in the head.*
[Marshal] Evening all! Thought I'd help you out! Everyone Split up! One team takes the front with me! The other goes round the back with Pestilence! Sort it out amongst yourselves!
*Pestilence heads around the back.*

anyone who wants to join Marshal please reply to THIS posting, or any with the 'Frontal Assault' title.

[Marshal] Okay. Let's get it on!
*Charges the door.*

Anyone who wants Pestilence on their team, reply to THIS posting.

[Pestilence] This'll be real fun...

I'll join Pestilence.
*Dharackni swoops back down on his disk of Tzeentch.*

[Pestilence] Alright! Let's smash 'em!

ROAR! Let's get 'em!
*the disk of Tzeentch disapears into thin air and Dharackni heads down the closest corridor, drawing his staff*
It looks dark down here! Got a torch?

*There is a soft, subtle noise behind Dharackni as Pestilence takes aim with a modified Inferno Cannon.*
[Pestilence] This do?

yup.
*moves further down the corridor. The walls are covered in green acidic slime, Dharackni burns his hand on the wall.*
Ouch! By Tzeentch what is this stuff?
*the slime where Dharackni touched set alight. A cultist wanders round the corner. Dharackni raises his arm and tries to fry the cultist, nothing happens.*
It's some kind of psychic blocker!
*the cultist runs to raise the alarm*
Quick! Get that cultist!

*Fearing to use the Inferno Cannon, Pestilence hits the man instead, his face is crushed inwards, and his head is smashed apaet like an egg on the far wall with a crack.*
[Pestilence] Got 'im! What /is/ that stuff anyway?

you don't want to know.

well, it is definitely acidic, quite corrosive, but that's not the worst part. it appears to be some biological by-product, with teratogenic properties. that is, don't eat it, or you'll have green children.

whatever secreted this stuff i'm anxious to dissect.



psychic block be damned!

::follows recrash::

wading through the scummed-over sewage of a hundred years, with floating body parts bob-bobbing with the current is not a good setting.

but that's what we have, folks. please remember to keep your powder dry and this sludge out of all open wounds.

and dont touch the walls.

< sorry >

:Smartass cultist takes a potshot at Dharackni with an autogun, to no effect; moments before Grishnaks choppa sliced though its brittle skin, severing its head, and making a real mess of its chest.

"dat wun aint gettin up again. not much ov a fighta either"

*picks up the autogun dropped by the cultist*
Right, that's some ballistics after my powers were blocked...

"Ahem." tap from behind.
WOK! CRUNCH!

This surgeon general has determined that it is unsafe to insert a bayonet-armed scattergun into that particular orifice.

Let's carry on, gentlemen.

Yes...carry on

By Tzeentch, it really does smell bad down here!
*Turns corner and blasts a cultist's arm off with the autogun. the cultist manages to raise the alarm*
Watch it lad's, weve been rumbled.
*Multiple Cultists run round the corner*
Ready, Aim...