h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Robespierre - 'The Incorruptable' - A689547
Author: Spaceman Spiff (MP) - U185155


Hiya,

This is another one for my Uni Project, so it won't be going into PR. Any chance of a few tit-bits of feedback?

ta in advance
spiff

Hi, Spiff!

I'd like to be able to give you some detailed feedback on both this and the Danton entry, but I'm going to be very busy for the next few weeks.

In the meantime, there's one general point that bothers me: how much do you want each of these entries to be able to stand alone? On a quick read-through, both of them need far more context before I can understand what is going on. On the one hand, I can see that you don't want to have to repeat the same stuff in all the entries.
But when the project is complete, people may come to this entry using the search, rather than from any more introductory entries in the project, so they also will need a lot more context.

I'd be inclined to put a *very* basic level of introduction in place before your first header, on the lines of 'Robespierre was a provincial French lawyer who became one of the leaders of the French Revolution of 1789'.

One thing you could do is footnote everything that needs explanation for the moment. As you work on the other entries, you can replace the footnotes with links to the relevant section. If anything deosn't get explained by another entry, then keep the footnote.


Azara

Er, sorry for the lack of reply, Azara, . I *did* read your comments and have tried to take account of your general point in the various new items I have worked on since. Thanks for the feedback.

I was actually posting this coz I know there are plans to abandon the Writing Workshop and I thought my two revolution entries deserved a last chance at the top of the list to see if I get any comments.

So here it comes...

spiff

My comment is basically the same as Azara's. See my post on Danton.

Bels

I'll stick to pedantry over typos...

Under Introduction
parisian - Parisian
Quenn Marie-Antoinette - Queen
Under 'an early radical'
exectution - execution
Under 'The Cult of the Supreme Being'
unnofficial dictator - unofficial