A Conversation for The French Revolution - an overview

Writing Workshop: A689204 - The French Revolution - an overview

Post 1

Spiff

Entry: The French Revolution - an overview - A689204
Author: Spaceman Spiff (MP) - We must perform a Quirkafleeg! - U185155


Hi all, smiley - smiley

thanks in advance for anyone who reads and comments on this work in prog.

It was origingally intended as an overview page for the whole h2g2 uni project, and has become a kind of central item from which I take out elements to creat separate entries where appropriate.

Therefore it is a) quite long and b) not in its intended final form (it is still destined to be a much more brief overview containing links to every other entry in the project).

This makes it an odd one to put into a review forum, so may I say I don't expect every reader necessarilly to plough through the lot before commenting.

Just pick a section, for instance. Or pick a linked item, and give any comments back here, maybe. Or just not bother and read something less boring instead. smiley - biggrin

all comments gratefully received smiley - smiley
spiff


A689204 - The French Revolution - an overview

Post 2

Gnomon - time to move on

Spiff,

I've only had time to look at the very start of this fine entry. My main point is your use of French words in English text. This can be confusing. Would it be appropriate to put the French words in italics?

1. Words that look like English words but are spelt slightly differently: for example, the parlement. This looks like you have just mis-spelt the word parliament, particularly when you use it in a title.

2. Words that are the same as English: estate is near enough to the English meaning that you can use it as an English word.

3. Words that look like ENglish but mean something different: privilège means a completely different thing to the English word privilege, so using the English word is very confusing.

I think some of these would benefit by putting the French word in italics wherever you use it, even in titles.

Some typos etc:

it's bloody consequences --> its bloody consequences
though. If for no other reason --> though, if for no other reason
24 million Frenchman --> 24 million Frenchmen

had not, however, been called since --> had not, however, been called together since

Some nobles were literally poor, though, struggling to make ends meet. Whether through failure to adapt to modern agricultural techniques, bad management or just bad weather, many nobles resorted to squeezing every last penny's worth of income out of their lands and the peasants who worked them.
-->
Some nobles were literally poor, though, struggling to make ends meet, whether through failure to adapt to modern agricultural techniques, bad management or just bad weather. Many nobles resorted to squeezing every last penny's worth of income out of their lands and the peasants who worked them.


A689204 - The French Revolution - an overview

Post 3

Bels - an incurable optimist. A1050986

Salut, Spiff

This looks really excellent - well done! Gratifyingly long and comprehensive, plenty of meat to get the teeth into. Really, my only comments would be to do with bits of word-tweaking and polishing, best left to a subbing conversation in the fullness.

Aux armes, citoyen Spiff! Formez vos bataillons! Fumez vos Gauloises!

smiley - winkeye

Bels


A689204 - The French Revolution - an overview

Post 4

U195780

well, let me go through them. They sound interesting! smiley - smiley




A.R.Shams
the author of the "Creative Living Spirit"
Series of messages of Ideal Living....


Key: Complain about this post

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more