h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My Dad use to say, sure my Mom had never been in an accident, but she had certainly caused several. He of course was famous for crashing along a row of 12 cars parked along the New Jersey boardwalk. He then pulled in at the front of the line when he noticed the police on the way. When they got to him he of course asked, did you see the guy that hit me!? The officer mentioned politely that his was the only vehicle damaged on the right side, while the other 19 victims were banged up on their left. I should point out that my Mom was no where near the scene of this vehicular vandalism. Other than the desicrated passenger cars there were no injuries (except to the insurance rates of a particular driver.)

Draw your own conclusions! For myself, I concluded that my father was citing my mother as the influnce on his life that drove him to drink (and drive.) There fore, ergo, et cetera, she caused all the accidents he had been in.