A Conversation for The h2g2 Fantasy Film League
The Kitten Who Ate Birmingham
Mr Prophet (General Purpose Genre Guru) Started conversation May 20, 2002
Aha! I'm kicking major behind in Autumn and Winter 2001, and Spring 2002 for that matter. Doing rather less well in the season where there are any other entrants though...
Oh well. This is my entry for Summer 2002. Apologies if I go on a bit, but I've long wanted to do an actual pitch for one of my fantasy films.
****
From the Executive Producer of Shichinin no Thespian, Evil Dead IV: To Live and Die and Live Again in LA, and The Castle of my Fodder.
Alfred Q. Brassica Presents
A Lost Vegas Production
Of A Brian Singer Film
THE KITTEN WHO ATE BIRMINGHAM
Starring
Billy Boyd as the luckiest son-of-a-gun on Earth, the daring, yet foolishly-named Jack Maverick
Natalie Portman as daredevil ace time-pilot, Annie Byron
Bruce Campbell as square-jawed, super-genius scientist, Dr William 'Blake' Severn
Featuring Cate Blanchett as Ada Countess Lovelace
and Christopher Plummer as Lord Byron
And introducing Lawrence Fishburn in the role of 'Tiger'.
A brilliant scientist working with the possibility of feline time-travel determines that mysterious earthquakes are the result of the actions of a rogue time-cat in Birmingham UK; in 1855!
Accompanied by ace pilot, Annie, and his plucky assistant, Jack, Dr Severn must travel back one hundred and fifty years in his patented (US Patent no.1) time-glider, to stop the kitten's deadly but cute play; or the future may cease to exist.
But when the glider is wrecked, leaving them stranded in time, only Annie's ancestors, Ada Lovelace and Lord Byron can help them.
THRILL...to the sight of Bruce Campbell being, well, Bruce Campbell!
MARVEL...at Natalie Portman doing an English accent!
WONDER...at Billy Boyd doing an American accent!
HATE...as the hero kisses Natalie Portman (see above, re. luckiest son-of-a-gun)!
GAWP...at the anachronistic presence of Ada Lovelace and her father in a year when they should both be dead!
Never coming to a cinema near you!
"What is this rubbish?" - The Daily Planet
"You'll have to pay me more than that to even watch the thing." - The Kazoo
"It stinks!" - Pravda
Executive Producer - The Prophet
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The Kitten Who Ate Birmingham
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