A Conversation for The Clinik
Emotional Problems?
Chris M Started conversation Dec 28, 2001
I see turkeys in my nightmares. Running, clucking, always clucking - where to go? Where to go? But their feathers are marked with the regalia of the Massed Bands of the Coldstream Guards and their feet don't touch the ground. The sun is setting and time is running out for them. The fox - if there is one, cannot be seen. The clucking is getting louder and louder and it never ends.
I fear my constitution will be compromised. Help me doctor, you're my last hope.
Emotional Problems?
Dr. Acephalos Fotticapra - come to The Clinik at A674651 Posted Dec 29, 2001
The diagnosis is simple, the turkeys represent your mother and guilt at the pain you caused her coming into this world. You have transfered this to the guilt of eating turkey for christmas. Your guilt, however is disassociated from concrete action, thereby preventing you from overcoming it. The solution is to either kill your mother or a turkey. I recommend a turkey. Get a live one and strangle it.
I would also recommend that you start drinking heavily.
Emotional Problems?
Dr. Acephalos Fotticapra - come to The Clinik at A674651 Posted Dec 31, 2001
Thank you sir. Do not hesitate to call if you have any other problems.
Emotional Problems?
Chris M Posted Dec 31, 2001
There was one other thing. As hard as I try I can't get my Yahoo account to access my home email - something to do with Pops I think. It's made me very insecure, and I'm finding it hard to trust people or relate. Any ideas?
Emotional Problems?
Dr. Acephalos Fotticapra - come to The Clinik at A674651 Posted Dec 31, 2001
That's easy. Your childhood competition with your Father - "pops" in this case - for sexual possession of your mother is messing up your subconsious. You need to get it on, and fast. If you don't have a partner readily available, contract the first prostitute you can find and you'll be accessing the Yahoo! in no time at all.
Emotional Problems?
Chris M Posted Jan 4, 2002
I've never had a problem accessing Yahoo! sweetie. It's BT I'm having problems with. But that's a technical matter and probably out of the range of your wisdom.
Well it was fun "Lord and Master", but I think I've given you more than enough breadcrumbs to get along with, so I think I'll go and find some other self-loathing teenager to watch in their futile efforts at self-aggrandizement. 
I'll keep taking the tablets though! 
Emotional Problems?
Dr. Acephalos Fotticapra - come to The Clinik at A674651 Posted Jan 5, 2002
"Self loathing teenager" eh? How I wish I were one again. Ah, the memories come back to me... And futile wushmush, that's good, too.
However, the Hippocratic oath prevents me from punishing you for your insults, so I'll merely call a bad neck ache upon you. Then where will you turn for help?
Emotional Problems?
Dr. Acephalos Fotticapra - come to The Clinik at A674651 Posted Jan 5, 2002
So you dismiss the medical profession entirely? Bold move my friend.
Key: Complain about this post
Emotional Problems?
- 1: Chris M (Dec 28, 2001)
- 2: Dr. Acephalos Fotticapra - come to The Clinik at A674651 (Dec 29, 2001)
- 3: Chris M (Dec 29, 2001)
- 4: Dr. Acephalos Fotticapra - come to The Clinik at A674651 (Dec 31, 2001)
- 5: Chris M (Dec 31, 2001)
- 6: Dr. Acephalos Fotticapra - come to The Clinik at A674651 (Dec 31, 2001)
- 7: Chris M (Jan 4, 2002)
- 8: Dr. Acephalos Fotticapra - come to The Clinik at A674651 (Jan 5, 2002)
- 9: Chris M (Jan 5, 2002)
- 10: Dr. Acephalos Fotticapra - come to The Clinik at A674651 (Jan 5, 2002)
More Conversations for The Clinik
Write an Entry
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."