BEING A DERILICT OF SOCIETY aka How to avoid paying your loans.
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
** Not paying your loans can be fun and easy **
1.) Call your loan servicing center (ie DLSC, Sally Mae Inc.)
2.) Ask them about deferrments and forbearances. They are not allowed to volunteer the information unless you ask.
(that would be a normal process in our government while our officials play leap frog)
$$Some handy info about deferrments and forbearances$$
Unemployment - Tell them to mail you an unemployment deferment. When you get the form put any unemployment agency down (they don't check, betcha didn't know that) (There is your first six months of avoiding the loan)
School deferrments-
stay in college indefinitely. You don't have to pay school loans if you are enrolled half time. Six months after your separation date(graduation), you must start paying the money back. So have a nice time get a few phd's on the governments money.
Hardship deferrment- this one is where if you make less than 934 a month (or whatever minimal cost of living is in the state you live in) you don't have to pay.
Forbearances: are short forms you can fill out to keep you're loan on hold for a year at a time for no apparent purpose except you want to be a derilict and not pay your loan, you are allowed 36 months in total.
tips:
LEAVE THE COUNTRY-- If you hide in a cave in Peru for 25 years, and your loan stays with the same company the whole 25 years, without you paying anything on it they end up discharging it. Then you can come back to the states. (if you really think you want to)
Furnish a fake death certificate. This is difficult, but quite possible, and successful (they really don't check into stuff much)
*****Other avoidance methods*****
when the reps for the agencies call you, pretend to be someone else-
handy lines for this include
--No one by that name lives here
--She died last week how dare you call here at a time like this.
--I'm only the babysitter
--He moved to Puerto Rico to become a salsa dancer.
--Oh, no actually he moved his address is (Blah blah furnish a fake address)
--I am not at liberty to divulge that information at this time as it may be hazardess to my wellbeing.
--I'm sorry I am invisible, I'm in the witness protection program at this time, so I can not talk to you. I'll call you back when they find the stalker. Wait are you the stalker? Ohmigosh, youre tapping my phone. AHHHH (continue paranoia to a large extent)Click.
*For fun call them up and tell them that some family member can't know about the loan (ie. mother) They 'll put privacy code on it and hang up immediately on your mother. Everytime you talk to them you can say you are your mother, hence they will hang up on you, the actual bearer of the burden.
This will keep them busy for a while. Have fun being a slacker and avoiding your loans. Use this system with much care and thought. I'm not one to gossip so you didn't hear this from me.
1.) Call your loan servicing center (ie DLSC, Sally Mae Inc.)
2.) Ask them about deferrments and forbearances. They are not allowed to volunteer the information unless you ask.
(that would be a normal process in our government while our officials play leap frog)
$$Some handy info about deferrments and forbearances$$
Unemployment - Tell them to mail you an unemployment deferment. When you get the form put any unemployment agency down (they don't check, betcha didn't know that) (There is your first six months of avoiding the loan)
School deferrments-
stay in college indefinitely. You don't have to pay school loans if you are enrolled half time. Six months after your separation date(graduation), you must start paying the money back. So have a nice time get a few phd's on the governments money.
Hardship deferrment- this one is where if you make less than 934 a month (or whatever minimal cost of living is in the state you live in) you don't have to pay.
Forbearances: are short forms you can fill out to keep you're loan on hold for a year at a time for no apparent purpose except you want to be a derilict and not pay your loan, you are allowed 36 months in total.
tips:
LEAVE THE COUNTRY-- If you hide in a cave in Peru for 25 years, and your loan stays with the same company the whole 25 years, without you paying anything on it they end up discharging it. Then you can come back to the states. (if you really think you want to)
Furnish a fake death certificate. This is difficult, but quite possible, and successful (they really don't check into stuff much)
*****Other avoidance methods*****
when the reps for the agencies call you, pretend to be someone else-
handy lines for this include
--No one by that name lives here
--She died last week how dare you call here at a time like this.
--I'm only the babysitter
--He moved to Puerto Rico to become a salsa dancer.
--Oh, no actually he moved his address is (Blah blah furnish a fake address)
--I am not at liberty to divulge that information at this time as it may be hazardess to my wellbeing.
--I'm sorry I am invisible, I'm in the witness protection program at this time, so I can not talk to you. I'll call you back when they find the stalker. Wait are you the stalker? Ohmigosh, youre tapping my phone. AHHHH (continue paranoia to a large extent)Click.
*For fun call them up and tell them that some family member can't know about the loan (ie. mother) They 'll put privacy code on it and hang up immediately on your mother. Everytime you talk to them you can say you are your mother, hence they will hang up on you, the actual bearer of the burden.
This will keep them busy for a while. Have fun being a slacker and avoiding your loans. Use this system with much care and thought. I'm not one to gossip so you didn't hear this from me.
