h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi everybody! *a powerful electromagnet above attracts all of the doggy teleporting devices* Welcome to the Holding Cell. After reading the backlog for a few hours (ahhhhh goo in my sleep!) I started just skimming for links, and then just decided to go to the end and come up with some solution for ending the whole thing. *the masked figure (who is, again, a hologram)departs, and the whole lot of them are sitting in a holding cell below the hotel's fueling depot. The cats and cat supporters are teleported out, and the doggies finally realise where they are and who the masked figure was*

*two Red Dogs appear from various threads having been `escorted` there by Captain Venom.

[RD4] I`m detecting a pattern here bro'. Waddaya reckon ?
[RD2] I think we`d better alert the others.
[RD4] OK I'll let em know.

*an encrypted ACF flash signal goes out*

[RD4] I think that has dealt with the immediate problem.
[RD2] Yes and now to get out of here.
[RD4] Sure, I can`t believe that Venom did`t disarm you
[RD2] Nor me, but I wasn`t about to mention it
[RD4] OK. Take out the teleport trap first then ...
[RD2] ... Cell security. Amazing we think so alike

*RD2 pulls out his dial-a-gun and selects plasma burst. A quick zap first disables the electromagnet and another the cell security system. The 2 clones walk out into the Hotel Fuel Depot*

[RD4] Hey look - hookups for all manner of ships and all kinds of fuels.
[RD2] In other words ....
[Both] ONE BIG BOMB !!!!!

*the highly trained and formidable Dogs go to work improvising charges, creating short circuits, taking copies of secret fuel price negotiations and emailing them to old customers to let them know how badly they had been fleeced. Together they make a real mess of the place as Dogs do when bored and left alone for a long time without so much as a chew or squeeky toy between them .*

*when done they sit in the small shack, feet up, fiddling with various remote controls, detonators and weapons*

[RD2] He`s going to be miffed you know.
[RD4] He`ll get over it. Do you have the unowhat ready for THE moment ?
[RD2] Yep, all set up and on automatic .

[Cat Clipboard appears from a shadow on the ground.]

[Cat Clipboard] :

Jeez, are you dogs or gremlins?

*closes convenient blast doors around fueling depot and around his office* *a hologram appears* Clipboard, you just might want to get out of there. *makes a last-ditch attempt to drain the tanks* *the hologram attempts to pay RD Clones off, waving about $15,000 US and a teleport*

*as the Captain made an appearance on the thread the phtotgraphic device set up by RD2 and RD4 goes offand captures Captains very surprised face. An image is transmitted back to the Dog House for inclusion in the ACF memorabilia and scrapbook and possible inclusion in the ACF Cat War Museum*


^^
oo
=O=

[RD4] That your best offer Captain ..... look we have the refuelling records here. You made three times that margin on your last fuel transaction. You wouldn`t want Megadodo to know that they paid twice as much as Zarniwoop Lines last time they were here eh. That kind of knowledge could drive you out of business if not get you seriously hurt .

[RD2] Yeah .

[Cat Clipboard switches on his shields, and puts on asbestos chlotes.]

*hologram presents doggies with $1,000,000 US and a teleporter if they'll simply leave, go to the lobby and collect it, taking all their bombs with them.* I should have remembered that the average ACF trooper has more weapons than an Afghani bent on jihad...

*opens a portal to the lobby for Cat Clipboard to bound through, which is feline size and will close if a puppy with ideas tries to exit through it* Clipboard, if you'll just go behind the lobby counter, through the security checkpoints to the office, you will find it also amply protected by blast doors. Come to think of it, why should I sell out when I could just re-capture the mutt clones? Hey, I can rebuild the fueling depot. *a portal opens under the feet of each of the Red Twins, sending them first through a series of ropes that tighten around them, and then back into http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F81841?thread=159458&latest=1 *

[RD4] its a deal Captain. Details of how to get the money to us is in this memory stick

[RD2] Yeah and just to keep you honest there are a few little surprises here and there that we`ll disarm when we get the loot.

[RD4] Just dont go looking for them you`ll never get em all in time.

[RD2] Oh, and we have our own way of getting out, thanks.

[Both] See ya

*RD`s use the Hon teleport medallions to get back to their threads of origin*

*a VERY SOLID hologram yanks the mutt clones back by the laws of Simulposting and places them in their right places to fall* See above puppies.

Errr Cap, technically you`re quite right but as I went to those threads and continued my storyline would you mind awfully if we kept on with that otherwise it`ll get very confusing. Basically I`ve escaped, don`t have your money and am back in the threads you took us from carrying on those plot lines. Naturally I`m not going to take the ultimate sanction and blow the depot up ..... I might go on a bit about you renaging on a deal and a debt you owe me though. Basically I`m happy with the snap we got as payment for the multiple kidnappings and as its not often I can get my clones together for a reunion I`m happy. More Red Dogs together exponentially increases their effectiveness, strength, intellect and mischeviousness (ala Michael Moorcock and the Eternal Champions).

If you`re not happy with this suggestion though just let me know and I`ll go back and undo things as best I can.

Red

*pops the memory stick into his Palm, which controls everything 'round here, and GRUDGINGLY, and only in the interest of continuity (and the non-exploding of his fueling depot), he walks to the perscribed location and gives the two mutt clones their money*

Good on yer maaate

*goes to work replenishing the fuel lost when he emptied the tanks in fear of Mutt Clones*

[Cat Clipboard] :

You might want to tone down the Osma and Afgani jokes, Venom.

Done!

Things are happening that I don't understand!!!!

But thats probably a good thing.

*goes back to sleep*

Yay, more stuff to annoy venom about!

*runs off to find a BBC support person and tell them about Venom*

What are you doing? No one posts here anymore, Venom's been neutral for months. Why are you digging up the past?