h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Careful you don't get carpet burns - unless you choose to see them as crporal mortification of course ;-P

It's hard to believe anyone with even half a brain can credit such superstitious twaddle in this day and age isn't it?
Sadly they're so brainwashed they even persecute their own families for not being true believers.
Did you know the "Good Book" actually tells you to kill your family and friends if they refuse to allow themselves to be brainwashed?

Why does GOD always make sinning so much more *fun* than being good? B**tard!


(think I'll stay on my feet, tho)

Average, stop that sniggering in the back row, or you'll be given extra catechism!

(Hey Roymondo - why don't you convert to Catholicism and become an altar-boy?)

I'm laughing too much to respond appropriately.

oh I don't know pedro. Back in the dark ages, when I was a teenager, one of my friends was a monk. he really used to enjoy the self-flagellation. he used to do it in front of an open window. There was a bus stop outside...

The RC church is the perfect home for sado-masochists with a taste for incense

I might have to reconsider my options. Does it have to be *self* flagellation?

Still laughing by the way, as is CUP (my flatmate).

CUP's first name doesn't begin with a "D" does it?

I thought they did that so the blood loss would stop them getting a boner?

Nah, CUP's name begins with a P (Creepy Uncle Paul - don't ask).

Why D?

According to Tom Baker monks only stoop to hide the boner.

I wonder how they manage if they get one while wearing only a cassock.perhaps that's why the prayer books are so big?

Ooh, simulpost.

Of course you can't tell where their hands are when they supposedly have them in those big sleeves.

I'm starting to get a bit of a thing for habits. Am I developing a habit habit?

I'll get my coat...

Oh sorry.

I just thought D cup was rather a nice name.

Ah. I completely missed that! Too much laughing and flagellation contemplation.

That reminds me of the one about the laundry man who used to hang around the convent.

At what were you and CUP laughing?

This thread - especially the altar-boy bit!

Actually it might not be such a good idea. Have you SEEN some of those old irish priests?

i don't think it's a coincidence that High Mass rhymes with "high farce". My two eldest were altar boys for one of those old bog-irish priests. All I can say is it's a good thing the choir sat at the back of the church where no one could see us choking and we could rush out into the car park if necessary.

(BTW, Eccsy wants to know if she can take her tongue out of her cheek yet.)

OK, 2 obvious replies:

What were you choking on?

and

Why, whose cheek does she want to put it in?

Pre-teens wearing oversized cassocks and carrying candles in long holders, accompanying a confused old irishman (who hasn't given them much training), on a sanctuary with several changes of level, low doorways, trailing altar-cloths, lots of small pieces of furniture (such as hassocks) below eye level....
believe me, you'd have been choking too.



Eccsy says "anyone's who's willing"

>> What were you choking on? <<

Pardon me, i'm a little slow tonight. How could you make such a suggestion?

It's much too hard to sing with your mouth full.