h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A649622

This entry started life as an entry on Operation Dewey Canyon III, a protest staged in 1971 by Vietnam Veterans Against the War. But really understanding that protest would have been hard without some context. Understanding the context required some background information. Next thing I knew, this entry was... well... massive.

It's been suggested that this is really a Uni project. I've found that, with only one exception, everything I've written that's gone through the peer review process has come out the other end a better article. I want this to have that opportunity for improvement.

If this gets recommended, the Editors will almost certainly have to break it up into multiple entries. I don't envy the person who gets the job of deciding where the "breaks" are, what with each event flowing into the next.

Sit back, relax and take your time. And remember, if you're not actually editing the thing, you only need to follow the links that interest you. You're not *required* to investigate each of the 283 links.

NBY

Phew... Long indeed. But fascinating. Learned something today.

Questions: What is OSS?

Typo "The US began to aid South Vietnam began in 1955" Two 'began's there.

Maybe you or the SubEd could add tags (internal liks), so one could skip parts.

Bye,

HELL

It's a biggie!
I confess to only having read some of it - I'll do it in stages I think.

First comment is one that someone gave me on my latest entry and that's that italization in big chunks is hard on the eyes. I know you're supposed to do them in blockquotes, but it would be easier on the eyes if it was in ordinary scipt.

Oops, 'script'!

<musicalnote

Good catch, Hell. The entry now has one less "began" than it did earlier.

Regarding the OSS:

In the beginning, espionage and intelligence gathering was done by numerous military and civilian agencies, and they communicated with each other poorly.

On July 11, 1941, the President said "Let there be an office of the Coordinator of Information (COI), to centralize all information being collected on the behlaf of the United States." The President looked upon the COI and saw that it was good.

The COI begat the Office of Strategic Services (OSS) on June 13, 1942, and on that date the COI was no more.

The OSS begat the Strategic Services Unit (SSU) on October 1, 1945, and on that date, the OSS was no more.

Lo, the SSU found that it had a silly name, and changed to to "Central Intelligence Group" (CIG) shortly after its formation.

Congress looked upone the CIG, and saw that it was good, but needed a clearer mission. So, Congress passed the National Security Act of 1947, during the beginnings of the red scare, and thus the CIG begat the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), which is with us to this day.


Hmmm... I think the amount of sleep I haven't gotten the past few nights might be starting to show.

NBY

PS - I'm not ignoring your suggestion regarding tags, I'm just not sure where to put 'em just yet. That may be something I leave to the sub-editor, although I generally try to give the sub-ed as little work as possible (overall length and number of links notwithstanding).

I agree about the big chunks of italics, ZSF. Thing is, even if I take the out, it's going to come back once this thing is subbed. I'm going to think about taking the italics out (NOTE: That is not to be interpreted as a threat to the occupants of the Towers, onaccounta it ain't.)while it's in Peer Review, just to make it a bit easier to read and comment on. I might even do it. I find big chunks of italics hard to read, too.

NBY

LINKING: You could add something to the Introduction, like a timeline, or summary, from where you link to the years. Something like:

From 1945-... the US presence was limited to... A more massive involvement of US in Indochina followed from 1960-1963. In 1964....... Massive protests took place in 1968 ..... And so on.

What do you think?

At the end of the year chapter you could add a ''Back to the top'' link.

I think that would make the entry more digestible.

Bye,

HELL

Adding a linked timeline would make the overall entry longer, but increase readability. I'll give it a try in the next day or two. Thank you HELL. This is why I didn't want to do it as a Uni project.

Would you like me to take a look at it? I'm a fast reader and this is a subject I've done quite a bit of reading about.
If you don't want me to, that's okay.

Please do. All input and suggestions for improvement are welcome.

Everybody tease tonsil's revenge for being a newbie!

Tonsil, anything posted to Peer Review is there for the purpose of getting feedback. It's very thoughtful that you asked Not Banned Yet for permission to comment on it, but I had a vision of you requesting permission in every Peer Review conversation you come to! ACK! Don't be afraid to jump in and say what you think. (It's still good to be tactful if you need to point out problems, but if it's in Peer Review, that's an invitation for everyone to comment on the piece.)

Yeah... Normally if someone asks this, it's because a MAJOR review of the article is on the way.

Some people exagerate and post kilometric comments picking every nit they can. So if that's your intention it's better to warn first. If it's only minor comments it's as =X says. Just let it out.

(In this particular case it's probably difficult to be succint, as it is a very LONG entry...)

Bye,

HELL

Okay. read it. Most of the errors are typos. There are a few sentences that are weird that look like a conflation of two different sources typed very quickly. I think you can find those.
Try to resolve the thing with beginning sentences with numerals. Those should be words.

Love the Eisenhower quote.
I think the big block quotes should be truncated.

Dien Bien Phu should be mentioned first at the proper place in the chronology.

Re: Fred Friendly-a 'Lucy' episode is half an hour, I believe. How long was the broadcast supposed to be and how many nights or days?

Just a question that comes to mind regarding the US involvement with asia. When did the official occupation of Japan end?

The VVAW birth sentence ends redundantly.

If memory serves me correctly, the sweatered protestor was placing a daisy into the muzzle of a rifle held by a National Guard MP, thus the shiny helmet with the white band. Was that the one with the M1 garand?

You left out the Catholic SV Govt little war with the Buddhists and the Montagnards (sp?). And the battle with media, both foreign and Vietnamese.

Pete Se(e)ger

I have some questions about the Kent State. But I will do a little research to resolve them. I don't remember about the ROTC building.
People I've talked to who say they were there state that the people who were shot wer nowhere near the demonstrators and that the common was being crossed by people going between buildings as a period had just ended. They said that it is possible that rocks were thrown and that an order not to fire had been given. As you said, the NG were tired from other duty and from being bussed to the site. Many of them were in the guard to avoid the draft according to one forgotten source. The Governor apparently tried a media blackout on the event and some parts of Ohio didn't hear about it for days. He also called Nixon asking for regular troops and for permission to declare martial law.

Pat Buchanan's comments to Nixon about the Veterans might have included a mention of the Bonus Marchers treatment in 1932.

Overall, the damn thing's too big to reach the audience that needs to read it, the young. The choir has already heard this sermon. The sheer proponderance of data and then and then and then and dates and units and base camps is overwhelming.

I think that the italics will use the ponderous nature to keep it from the Guide. I hope not. Then there's the matter of timing. That will mitigate against you, too. I think the timing is a good thing, which why I believe that the readers who need to read it soon will need it to be a bit more bite-sized.

I also think that you need a clearly stated thesis to begin the piece and conclude it. You've gone to a lot of work, sure. But that work needs to justify itself by having a vision.

Otherwise it's like you were a college professor handing out a reading assignment.

Which it is at the moment.

I am a fast reader. Took me two hours. Admittedly, it was more enjoyable than the two and a half hours I spent waiting for 'Harry Potter' to be over the other night, but I wouldn't hand this thing to my kid. She'd walk away in a minute. I managed to wing it because I am sadist and a history freak.

...


Quod erat demonstrandum

See?

Exactly.

HELL

I get bit for being too abrupt, then I get bit for being too polite.
I'm gonna get bit no matter what. But I bite back.
So, nyaah, nyaah, you hosers!

I don't think a little courtesy would cost anyone anything around here. While a lack of courtesy can cost you everything.

PR or not, I'm going to behave until it's time not to behave.


Oh, and Thanks, hell!

Exactly... That's also my philosophy.

I've already seen too much carnage in PR.

See you around tonsil.

HELL

bye

Thank you tonsil. I'll take a look at each of the points you raised and act on the ones that I think will make the entry better.

Everyone, I WANT problems you see to be pointed out to me. That's what Peer Review is for, IMO.

Still can't figure out what IMO stands for.

IMO = In My Opinion
IMHO = In My Humble Opinion