h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes. I was there. The spousal unit worked at what she does best and I looked after the springoff. Had it thrust into my arms unweaned and sat for three days with a wailing infant refusing the plastic tit.
Took care of her for most of her first three years, all the while getting whacked about the head by the well-meaning and the ,well, mean. Often been accused of 'babysitting' my own. Been stared at like a child molester for being six foot something, burly, bearded, glasses with a toddler in tow. Is you disabled? Can't afford day care?
Lazy slob? Is he hurtin' you, darlin'?
And then, when I happen to encounter womens with their ittle arlins, I get shut out of any conversations. But they'll droolingly chortle to my child. Is he taking good care of you?
And when I resist the terminal cuteness of the culture that surrounds children these days, I'm accused of depriving her. I'M THE ONE who introduced my kid to drawing, painting, old radio shows on tape, the Marx Bros, Warner Bros cartoons, Little Nemo, Lil Abner, Hitchhiker's the video tape, Highlander I and II. And now she reads at a much higher level than most of her classmates, has gone through an origami phase and now is becoming a chess wiz. She buys books about herbs and natural remedies. She's eleven now.
But I remember the smell of spit up. I remember her mother moaning about nursing (both kinds). I remember every hunk of chewing gum I cut out of her hair and every time her curious little fingers found themselves pinched in a door frame.
And I remember every one of those predatory weasels who said,"But a woamn's place is in the home. You're supplanting her. One of these days that child will miss having the love of a mother in her formative years."
Kinda makes me wonder how many dads have taken advantage of this sort of thinking.