h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A644050
I've swallowed my pride (well, some of it anyway) and tried my best to write something compliant with the rules of the Edited Guide. This comes at least fairly close. I don't think it's nearly as good as my other stuff, but then again I don't see how it could be under the circumstances.
Even though I feel emasculated and a bit cynical, I console myself with the belief that, if Ford Prefect had been granted the column-inches, and if he'd landed up in South Yorkshire instead of Hertfordshire, then this is something like the kind of Entries he'd have written.
Pinniped

This is quite fun and informative.

Some if it is written in the personal rather than the third person - not huge amounts - I'm sure you can sort it out.


ZSF

Thanks for this - I really wanted to know whether I had a chance with something written in this style, and I take it from this that it might indeed fly.
I'll remove the first-person stuff and the worst of the cynicism, and also bring it up to the present day. It'll take a while, because I really must now go check my facts properly (now that I know it's worth it). I'll post again when I have something I think might be OK.
Thanks again
Pinniped

I think its definitely worth it. Entertaining, inspiring *and* educational.

'Southern Jessies' would of course have to be explained for overseas readers .

Waz(currently living in treeless Shropshire)

I agree with Wazu. I also like the title.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A647219

Here's a refinement. (Sorry to start it as a new Entry rather than overwriting the old. I didn't think).
Still, what do you reckon now?

Pinniped.

YAY! Like it!

I've a couple of *very* minor suggestions, which you are free to ignore.

At the beginning, you might want to say either that people had tinkered around with copper and bronze (or maybe not).

You may also want to say that they put in in something when they were mixing in with the charcoal and rocks and that they also had something to pour it into (moulds) when they had finished. Just a thought.

Well done on the entry.

Thanks. Yes, I agree that it would be improved by bringing in your two points. Both are significant in understanding the motivation for the technological development.
When I started this piece, I wondered generally whether I was making it informative enough, or if it would only make sense to someone who already knew the basic facts.
Then I decided that the most useful piece would take facts that most people had met before, but present them from an alternative perspective.
I'll try and bring in both the Bronze Age and the first foundries (and later the migration from casting to forging) at a suitable tangent. Then I'll re-submit.
Can I also ask whether I should do a more thorough GuideML job on it (subtitles, pictures etc), or whether the structural bits are normally put in by the Editors?
P.

Hi, Pinniped!

Well, as a relative newcomer, I can only go by my own experience. I've so far submitted two entries which have been recommended and one that isin the melting pot .

Headings help the reader. Too many headings can confuse the reader - although where they are needed, perhaps subheadings may be easier. I'm not sure that the Editors would insert them for you. I think you have to do your own. I don't think you can use pictures other than those in the Picture Gallery. If the Editors think that your entry is outstanding, ie entry of the week/month, they will look for a suitable picture for you.

NB: What I know about GuideML has been learned over the last month or so. If I can pick it up, anyone can.

Good luck with the entry! I look forward to seeing the revised version.

I've only had a brief look at this, but I quite like the style. It's good to have a different approach to a subject. I'll be having more of a thorough look later.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A647219

I've updated it again, incorporating all the suggestions and adding a few headings. What do you all think now?

P.

Ooh. Like it even more!

Nicely irreverant and full of facts. Only one question - harking back to one I asked earlier. Are you saying that the early ironmakers didn't put their iron ore in come kind of container and then put it into a mould? If not, how did they get the rough shape before working it?

Stay !

Hi ZSF (hope this is an acceptable abbrev of your epithet!)

Yes, I am saying that. Iron melts around 1450 deg C, and achieving temperatures like that is a development of the last 1000 years or so (except occasionally by accident, involving large numbers of dwellings, people etc as fuel to really get the blaze going...)
Iron age man made spongy lumps of metallic iron as described, and then beat it, both to form it to shape and also to work the slag out of it.
The first true cast artefacts made in Northern Europe date from about 800-900 AD, though before that a kind of casting was practiced by hammering sponge iron into moulds. That, incidentally, is how the first helmets were made.
All of which is far too boring for what absolutely must remain a piece with attitude and without anoraks...
Hope you agree/glad you like it!
P.

Thanks Pinniped

I wasn't being awkward. I just wanted to know and now you've satisfied my curiosity. And I quite agree about the tone of the piece!

And Yes, I'm quite happy with ZSF!

As an ex-Sheffield boy, steel is of interest to me. But I'm a bit too tired to contribute right now.

Hi Greydesk
Thanks. Just took a look at your Space.
Heartily approve of the sentiments, AND you got the team right!

P.

Where does Damascus Steel fit in all this?

Editorial Note: This conversation has been moved from 'Peer Review' to 'An Unreliable History of Steelmaking'.

This thread has been moved out of the Peer Review Forum because your entry has now been recommended for the Edited Guide.

You can find out what will happen to your entry here: http://www.h2g2.com/SubEditors-Process

Congratulations!

Hi Pinniped, as you can see above the PTB have been kind enough to accept my recommendation for the edited guide and you have your first recommended entry!

Congratulations

The article will now be sent off to one of the sub-editors for conversion to approved guideML, proof reading etc. Once this has been done some final polishing will be done by the senior editors and finally it will be queued for its grand entry on the front page.

Bye for now and keep writing.

Orcus

Way-Hay!
Thanks all...


Bu there is one other thing. I owe an answer to Hiram Abif's question earlier in the thread...
Damascus Steel...ah yes, these are the problems you get into when you go around writing Entries in an opinionated, in-your-face style.
Before you slice me into small pieces using that utterly beautiful blade you're wielding, just hear me out, OK?
I thought about including archaeometallurgy in this piece, but deliberately decided to limit it to a history of commodity steel production (the origins of the modern volume industry). To be truthful, that's all I can claim to know much about. To be even more truthful, I thought that Damascus Steel was a football team until I re-watched Highlander in the company of a knowledgeable friend some while ago, and got educated. And I dare to call myself a steelman. Disgraceful, innit?
As you obviously know, the technology of blister-iron forging was taken to a remarkable level in India during the first millennium AD. The fabulously ornate (and murderously efficient) blades known as Damascus Steel were first produced by this culture, and were far ahead of their time. The name Damascus Steel comes from the fact that Crusaders were their first Western victims, and that there was a trade in the weapons via Syria - but the OEM was Indian and most consider that is where the technique was invented.
Damascus Steel was/is made using a technique known as pattern-forging. It's superficially similar to the sponge-iron forging that I alluded to in the thread above. OK, I admit it - this is a bit like saying that the Sistine Chapel has superficial similarities to painting and decorating. But at least I didn't say that it was like the method used to run lettering through a stick of rock...
The history of this craft is surely worth an Entry of its own. It would probably also cover the Samurai sword tradition, and the fusion of Eastern and Western blade-making at Toledo in Spain.
But these marvellous achievements are part of a different story from mine, I think. Would you include the Great Pyramid in a History of the Housebrick?
...Does that get me off? Or shall I just put my head on this nice block over here?

P.
(Go on. Write the Entry yourself. It would grace the Guide. I can suggest a really excellent source-site, if you like).