h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just starting a thread for the new word here.

Noodles

Not only do the Chinese, eat birds' nests boiled in brine,
Occasion'ly they eat live snakes as well.
On days when I've been offered both, accompanied by wine
Deciding which is very hard to tell,
Like as I may, Chinese cuisine,
Eating live things is to me obscene,
So I think I will opt for Moroccan tajine.

I must be losing my marbles. It should have been:

Storms

Sipping my gin on the porch one day,
The air grew cold and the sky turned grey,
Off in the distance I heard the sound,
Rumbling, then felt the shake of the ground,
Mayhem ensued as God wreaked his ire,
So I went indoors and stoked up the fire.

Streaky grey-green clouds appear
Towards the horizon, looming
Over the distant purple hills.
Rumbles of thunder booming
Make the dog hide under the chair
Scaredy-cat pose assuming.

Stranded on island
Till the Greek Kalends:
Oh just give me a book;
Roasted lamb (and a cook),
Merlot for to drink -
Shame the ship wouldn't sink.

Sailors climb the central rigging
To stow the heavy canvas.
Orders are shouted, voices go astray.
Ragged sails are gathered in as
Men slip and slide across the decking;
Stormy waters washing them away.

That's really lovely.

sunshine has shone, makes all sky hot
the water vaporizes, right to the top
outside purple clouds form, all is still
rumbles start, like stones down a hill
more and more noise now, begins to rise
sudden flashes, blind ten thousand eyes