CATS VS DOGS... VS PANDAS VS DINOSAURS

INTRODUCTION

Once long ago there was a move called Cats VS Dogs. That movie is totally irrevelant to this story and has NOTHING to do with this. So there. People have always debated who are better as pets, Cats, Dogs... or Pandas or Dinosaurs. Obviously. You will not find out in this story. Figure it out yourself.

It's probably Dinosaurs, anyway. Go fetch the stick, boy!

INTRODUCTION... again: I Think Therefore I'm Sam*

Once upon a time, there was a dog, a cat, a panda and a dinosaur fighting for no reason. Except they weren't. Because dinosaurs are extinct. They were wiped out long ago by a great meteor (or something else, but it's a good chance it was a meteor) when the mice got fed up of trying to eat them (and failing terribly at eating them, to be honest). Any other questions you may ask are answered by 42.

Pandas, household Dogs, and household Cats do not meet with each other that often anyway. Of course you knew that didn't you? I hope you did. Now, can we start the actual story yet?

*Sam is non-existent. He is just used to make a bad pun.

INTRODUCTION... again... again: Evidently not.

This story might never start...

CHAPTER ONE: ^ He's wrong, you know

Once upon a time there was a fairy princess boy called Billy. He is not the main character. The main character is in fact a boy called Harry, who had dark blue eyes, darkish blond hair (it was more brown than blonde anymore, but he still called it blonde.) He was of the age year 'thirteen', and his birthday was in November. Which is all nice for him. He went to a school called Tiorcol Grammar*. As it was a grammar school it was very dull and boring, and the outside needed redecorating (unlike the inside, which constantly smelt of paint... despite the hall's walls never seeming to change from the colour blue.

Something happened. The end...

...OR NOT?!?! (Apparently there wasn't enough plot in this... I have no idea what they're talking about.)

One day, he lost his bag (because he was careless like that. Or something). As he looked for it, he went into the school's forbidden room of death (as grammar schools have these, obviously). He went and there was a ghost. Wooooooo!

*This school in not real. Harry is a completely imaginary character. Do not attempt to meet him.

Chapter Two: I Think I'm So Funny, Don't I?

As Harry walked into the room he saw... erm... the ghost of erm... EBENEEZER SCROOGE, YO MAMA!, MR BURNS... (oh wait he's still alive) Marvin the Paranoid Android from the original TV Series, instead of the one from the movie. DUN DUN DUUUUUN!

"I think you ought to know I'm feeling very despressed*." said the metal figure (all grammar schools have ghosts of robots somewhere. Well known fact about grammar schools).

"Why?" asked Harry, unaware who the robot was and thus dooming himself to boredom by asking.

"Brain the size of a planet, and I'm asked to haunt this random place in a random story for no reason. Call that job satisfaction, because I don't."

"Riiiiight..."

"Wow. You're even more boring than I imagined."

"WHAT?!?!"

At this point Darth Vader appeared out of nowhere and killed Marvin for no reason, because that is what people with red lightsabers do. Harry left immediately afterwards. Talking to Marvin had been THE worst thing he had ever had to do... he didn't think he could last another day.

Now are you scared... MUHWAHAHAHA (Just imagine having to spend time with Marvin. And am I the only person who noticed the boy never got his bag back?)

*Like depressed. But worse.

Chapter Three: Well...

This chapter does not exist. Spoooooooooky.

Chapter Four: Did you know...

...that this chapter does not exist either. Spooooooooky...er.

Chapter Four: ...

Why are you still reading?!?!

Chapter Five: Wait, wasn't last chapter the last chapter chapter five?

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows
Everything thats wonderful is what I feel
When we're together.
Brighter than a lucky penny.
When you're near the raindrops disappears
Dear and I feel so fine.
Just to know that you are mine.
My life is sunshine, lollipops and rainbows...

Chapter Six/Seven: ...Eight, Who Do We Appreciate?

As a sign of your strength to go through the sunshine and lollipops thing, you are hereby invited to come round my house and PARTY! Sadly, you do not know where I live. Maybe next time.