h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There is a reason for this city.

Since EU politicians have decided to abolish several great contributions to mankind such as duties, the uniformed-men-with-sunglasses-staring-at-passport-pictures and long borderqeues, don't be fooled borders have vanished.

These borders have been drawn in blood over the centuries, they are the cornerstone of every country's national self-confidence, and certainly no politician would ever give up the concept of borders. What else would satisfy their need for confirmation of power(a.k.a. the mine-is-bigger syndrome). Or do you truly believe in democracy and hope politicians faithfully represent their voters, really try to make this world a better place, etcetera, bla bla?

Then why do they spend so much time meeting with each other so often where the only outcome so far is a hilarious incapable parlament and a commitee which you and I never voted for but seems to get more power every day?

Venlo is a very interesting place once you see what's really going on. In fact, you can learn from it.

Teenage dope-dealers keeping up a criminal appearance where selling drugs has long been legalized. Nostalgic? No way, their customers just won't believe it's true! This is marketing!

Did you miss the supermarkets? Perhaps your view was blocked by thousands of Germans trying to get in. They come from as far away as Duesseldorf, spending 2 hours driving, 35 Marks on gas to get some coffee for 10 percent less. The magic comes from the illusion of 'making a great deal' which is supported if not build on the being-abroad-away-from-my-own-stupid-country concept.

Pizzahut only closed for they opened up in Duesseldorf. Suddenly every German realised they could take a pizza home and eat it while it was still warm. I never said they were that stupid.

So this small village on the river Maas has learned to deal with its weekly invasion of dopies, supersmart-buyers and the occasional, always disappointed, sightseeing tourist like (obviously) yourself. The Venlo-ers take as much money as they can from you but at least try to put up some entertainment.

They have adapted to major currency problems by simply accepting Deutschmarks on a one-on-one basis to the guilder (check your currency rates to see the rip-off). By all means a much more effective solution than this imposed Euro-thing, which will undoubtedly prove to be an even far greater rip-off.

Next time you're there, have a look around. Sniff the atmosphere. This is Life in a nutshell, an Universe in itself with answers to almost Everything else until the next intergalactic motorway comes around.