In the Bleak Midwinter Shopping Mall

0 Conversations

The  Post
Christmas  Vogon  Poetry  Competition   2009

smiley - hollysmiley - hollysmiley - holly

In the Bleak Midwinter Shopping Mall by Dmitri Gheorgheni

In the bleak midwinter

Or maybe it was spring, but we need a break about now,

Long, long ago

How long, we're not sure, but isn't it fun to mess with people's heads and argue about Dennis the Short?

Snow was falling, snow on snow,

See above. Anyway, who cares whether that baby was born in a barn, or a cave, and what the man said?

He went around saying that 'a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of things which he possesseth'.

Now, that's just plain silly.

If we can't make up our own god, what good is it?

Ours has deep pockets and one of those black AmEx cards.

He wears the red cap and he rides his chariot,

And he lives by the Papuan creed:

'Good people get cargo.'

His advent is on Thanksgiving Day,

And appropriately, he arrives in front of Macy's.

Sit on his lap, tell him your desires,

All will be well.

Checkbook happiness is the watchword.

What shall I give him, poor as I am?

Well, there's always re-gifting, I think I've got a bottle of rum in the cupboard.

If I were a shepherd...

Who cares about sheep?

And when the last unpaid-for present is opened,

And the last eggnog drunk,

We can sit around and complain

About the commercialisation of Xmas.

smiley - xmastreesmiley - xmastreesmiley - xmastree

Vote for this poem

To the Competition Page

21.12.09 Front Page

Back Issue Page

Christmas banner by Wotchit

Bookmark on your Personal Space

Conversations About This Entry

There are no Conversations for this Entry



Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry


h2g2 Entries

External Links

Not Panicking Ltd is not responsible for the content of external internet sites


h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more