While Shepherds Washed their Socks by Night

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The  Post
Christmas  Poetry  Competition   2009

smiley - hollysmiley - hollysmiley - holly

While Shepherds washed their socks by night
by Bluebottle

While Shepherds washed their socks by night

Whilst watching BBC

The Angel of the Lord came down

And switched it to ITV.

The shepherds shouted, "
Switch that Back!"

But the Angel tripped and fell,

It landed on the aerial, which snapped in half,

And the shepherds shouted "
Bl**dy Hell!

We're forced to watch the Queen's speech now,

Can you think of a fate more bad?"

But the Angel of the Lord stood up, saying

I bring news for you to be glad.

For in David's town, not too far away

A saviour has been born this night.

He will end all war, bring peace to Earth,

And make everything turn out all right."

"Will he fix our TV?" "Erm, probably not."

"Then why on Earth should we care?

All we want is to do our laundry in peace,

And let our eyes go square."

"Don't you want to worship the child?" the Angel said,

"That was born this very day!

He'll turn war to peace and hate to love,

And make bad things go away."

"Worship a child?!" they all replied

"You can get lynched for that!

And at the very least, my friend,

I'd look a total prat."

The Angel tried one last time, saying,

This kid will make all fighting cease.

He'll heal the sick and help the poor,

And bring us eternal peace."

"Then peace off!" they shouted, "You drunken hippy.

You've spent too long in the inn!

Now get out of the way of the television set,

'Christmas Countdown' is about to begin."

The Angel then went to visit the Lord,

And got some Kings to come along.

And now you know that the stories of shepherds

Are all completely wrong.

It wasn't around a manger they gathered that night,

But around the TV set.

I hope that now that you know the truth,

It will be something you never forget.

smiley - xmastreesmiley - xmastreesmiley - xmastree

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