A Conversation for The Alternative Writing Workshop

A799185 - Essays from hell

Post 1

Ridiculous Chicken† - a very absurd little bird

Entry: Essays from hell - A799185
Author: Utter Bewilderment - U198090

Just a load of random thoughts! please let me know what you think, although it's a bit more crudely crafted than my burblings on student life!


A799185 - Essays from hell

Post 2

Tonsil Revenge (PG)

It has portential.

Remove the third person story aspect and concentrate on the lovely gags.

EXAMINE THE PENCIL IN HAND. DESCRIBE WHAT KIND OF WOOD, WHERE IT IS GROWN, THE AVERAGE INCOME OF THE PERSON WHO HARVESTED IT, AND THE WILDLIFE THAT ONCE DEPENDED UPON ITS SHELTERING BULK AND NOW WANDER, STARVING, LOOKING FOR A HIGHWAY OVERPASS TO NEST UNDER.


smiley - wizardsmiley - hotdog


A799185 - Essays from hell

Post 3

Ridiculous Chicken† - a very absurd little bird

lol! I wasn't sure about the 3rd person bits myself... but anyway they're deleted now and i've added another title! still, methinks its looking a bit sparse! I'll have to think of some more!


A799185 - Essays from hell

Post 4

Tonsil Revenge (PG)

Good, good, I like!

Now, gently Number the essay questions and break up that big block of text at the top using and divvy it into paragraphs.

You might (might, mind you) want to introduce two s in, one at the top of the entry and one just before the essay quiz.

You don't have to.
But it would look nice.

Feel free to use my little gag above if you wish. I have no further use for it.

Anyway, Good Show!
90% of the way there!

smiley - sharksmiley - whistleSo Happy Together!


A799185 - Essays from hell

Post 5

Ridiculous Chicken† - a very absurd little bird

I have to put your little suggestion in... it rules!


A799185 - Essays from hell

Post 6

Tonsil Revenge (PG)

smiley - biggrin


A799185 - Essays from hell

Post 7

a girl called Ben

I like this too, Utter Bewilderment. I am not sure whether to hope that you become a teacher in the more traditional kind of school, or whether to fear it.

My only comment is that UPPER CASE is very hard to read. If I was subbing this, I think I would put the essay titles into a list or into blockquotes.

Otherwise it is damn near perfect.

Well done that prefect.

B


A799185 - Essays from hell

Post 8

nadia

I liked it and it made me giggle, but I think there is room for improvement. The essay titles are fine, and very funny, but I found some of the opening preamble overwritten. I think if it were toned down a little it would be even better. And I agree with Ben about the caps, but couldn't that could be fixed by a polisher if it got picked?

smiley - orangefish


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