Charlotte readied herself and lightly
jumped up, caught the nearest rung of the ladder and quickly disappeared
into the inky blackness above. I briefly noticed that she had forgone
footwear, perhaps this was sensible thinking on her part or just youthful carelessness.

"Knolly, focus please.", came the voice of my wife, her face now mere inches from mine; the heady scent of her perfume reminded me of where I was but not necessarily why.

"Yes, quite, indeed. Dalliance is not an option." I smiled as I replied and I, too, hastened up the ladder and up onto the top of the carriage, though possibly in a far more clumsy manner than my predecessor.

"I'll make some tea then ...", I heard from below as I carefully steadied myself on the rocking roof. A shower of rain decided at that moment that it would be a jolly good idea to make things even more difficult whilst I got my bearings.

Charlotte stood to one side of the opening, a dark and interesting shape against a black background of night sky and billowing smoke. She tensed, not quite sure what to do; was she allowed to act upon her own or did I have to tell her what to do? I looked towards the part of the roof where I'd left Bertie not that long ago. He seemed to be struggling with his pole; whilst the connection to Hobbes had been broken, it was still at its fullest extent and waving dangerously about in such a way that if it caught on anything, even at this speed, Bertie might be ripped asunder. I saw him stagger, and in doing so he caught sight of me.

"Knolly", he called "the retracting mechanism's caught on my trousers, I can't get it down..." The rest was droned out as his damned cape swept across his head.

At this point the alarm on my watch went off. Charlotte visibly jumped and looked at me, head on one side, her eyes wide. I removed it from my pocket to switch it off.

She nodded "Ah, shineeeey."

"That's not really helping, Knolly!", cried out Bertie as he fell to the floor and slid towards the rear of the carriage, the connecting cables that ran down through to the office seemingly the only thing that kept him from falling on the rails below. I looked around me; we seemed to be well beyond the station now and picking up speed. I glanced forward, was that a tunnel or bridge we were approaching? Through the smoke it was difficult to tell but time was of the essence it seemed?

I grabbed Charlotte's metal-gloved hand. "This way my girl, I think, come on".

She looked down at my hand holding hers, then at me and nodded. The sudden shower of rain had made the roof somewhat slick, and the trouble I had keeping balance earlier was now somewhat multiplied by a combination of movement, weather and smoke. Charlotte, bare footed, provided ample stabilisation and we were soon at my friends' side.

There was a clicking noise and claws extended from Charlottes right-armoured glove (Where had Hobbes found them?). I hastily let go. Bertie's eyes widened as he suddenly realised I was not alone.

"My goodness, is that really Charlie?"

"Now you see why I insisted you take the tablets?"

"Well...er ..yes. But um, you could have warned me, a clue, perhaps a sketch even?"

Even in moments of such dire peril Bertie could always take in every facet of the female form. You would think that after all the encounters with the Countess and her acolytes he would have learned by now that this was often his downfall, but sadly no.

There was a throaty chuckle, far more animal than human. "Bertie....sillyyyyy"

She looked at me, waiting permission to proceed.

"Er...Knolly what's she going to do?

There was a faint whirring sound as the pole's mechanism bound itself even tighter to Bertie's trousers; I saw Bertie wince.

"Bertie there is a tunnel or bridge fast approaching and we need to act fast, therefore we have no choice."

The pole was dancing wildly above us now as though it was a salmon on the end of a fishing line. Where the two poles joined would have been the obvious place to act but that was out of Charlottes reach. It would have to be much lower down. I knelt down by Bertie.

"Best close your eyes ..I'm not sure how well I'll be able to get the message across to Charlie here."

"Eh?"

He noticed the claws and realisation suddenly dawned on him.

"Knolly...she's not going to cut my leg off, is she?

I pulled Charlotte closer to his leg and guided her armoured hand to where I wanted her to make the incision. She looked at me, unsure still, I made a cutting motion with my fingers, and she smiled at me and pushed Bertie back down with her other hand.

"Down! Now steady on my girl ..."

The train whistle blew, drowning out any of Berties' protests or concerns about saving his pole, or his trousers. I gripped the rod as best I could whilst kneeling, saving it could be a boon, anything to save climbing up a telegraph pole. We were instantly plunged into complete darkness; I was pulled off my knees and I felt my trousers tear as the extended poles finally connected with something. I felt like my arms were going to be pulled out of their sockets.

"Sorrrryyy", purred a voice out of the gloom and there was a sound of metal swiftly being cut, and my arms relaxed.

The light levels changed , and I found myself looking a stars through a gap in the clouds. We had cleared the tunnel , my hands still gripped the remains of the rod of which there was about four foot. Bertie was sitting up inspecting his trousers and the very neat hole that Charlie had left him with. Charlotte was sitting tidily cross-legged between us, eyes moving from one of us to the other.

The express was flying along, now clear of any towns or hamlets, and it made it difficult to talk as the wind took one's breath away. I pointed to the hatchway, Charlotte nodded and scampered away. I handed the remains of the poles to Bertie who gingerly took them, crawled away and clipped it back into the roof recess as best he could.

Together we made our way back to the
hatchway.

"Knolly, I just want to say, well thank you for rescuing me again."

"Think nothing of it." I replied, "but it's young Charlotte we should both be thanking I rather think, don't you?"

"Yes, yes you are quite right, I must thank her once we are down."

"Hmm, choose your words carefully, though, Elspeth will not have forgotten about the butter, even though you could have met an untimely demise."

Bertie chuckled as he descended.

As soon as my feet touched the floor a blanket was thrown across my shoulders and a cup of tea placed in may hands. It was certainly warmer down here. Elspeth took a step back.

"Just look at the state of you, Knolly! I thought Charlotte and Bertie where bad enough, but you look as though you've been up a chimney, and I see here is yet another pair of trousers that cannot be saved . I hope that this will give you cause to reflect on your future actions?"

I caught sight of my reflection, nothing soap and water couldn't remedy there. I looked at my blackened hands and then at the fingerprints I was leaving on the china. I smiled.

I decided not to answer her question and instead posed one of my own "She saved both our lives out there you know? Where is she, by the way?"

Elspeth nodded. "Charlotte is getting changed for bed; I thought it best to get her out of the way as quickly as possible, dressed as she was."

I laughed. "You should have seen Bertie's face when we both appeared next to him...".

"Yes dear, I'm sure it was a picture to behold", said Elspeth, clearly not amused. "So what happened actually out there?" She continued in an attempt to steer the conversation away from jocularity.

I ran an explanation quickly through my mind, which went along the lines of Bettie getting his fully extended pole stuck through his trousers and Charlotte having to cut it off, and thought better of it as I was too weary from the day's events and wanted to get to a bed and not sleep in a chair.

"Oh, a malfunction of one of Hobbes' devices, I'm afraid, which almost pulled poor Bertie off the train!"

"Oh my, can it be repaired?"

"I'm sure I can rig something up.", said Bertie, appearing in a smoking jacket I had not seen before, and towelling his hair. "Hot water is working wonderfully by the way, Knolly."

"Well I'm glad about that; I need to get this smell of smoke and coal dust off of me."

Elspeth took my arm and whispered: "Wait a while, please, dearest, remember, Charlotte is sharing our bathroom."

Bertie overheard. "Where is Charlotte, by the way? I need to thank her for her part in saving my life. Did she say anything to you? She was marvellous out there."

Elspeth raised an eyebrow.

"Indeed she did."

I closed my eyes, hoping Bertie would
stop there and then.

"She did. What exactly did she say?" he enquired eagerly, beaming away as if the last hour or so had never happened.

"Charlie said", she smiled "...never play on the roof of a moving train without..." Elspeth paused and began to laugh "...without a Mummy or Daddy."

Thankfully I had quickly swallowed my tea at this juncture and did not suffer the equivalent of a nasal enema and showering my wife with who knows what I breathed in recently.

The Great Knolly Archive

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