The Legend of Fatty-Fat McGee
'You'll no be be getting food tonight', said Fatty-Fat McGee
A rather rotund barber from Tattyhat, Glumtree
A Scotsman was his nation, his lifestyle and his pub
And Natty-nat, his wife supplied him with his grub.
Now Fatty-Fat was no fool, but even he today,
was surprised by a clever sailor, who had come round to stay.
The sailor told him a story, of fair maidens lost and found,
of treasure unbelievable, and ships that had run aground
And while Fatty-Fat was sleeping, the sailor took all and his bed,
So all that covered Fatty's pride was his poor old bear called Ted.
The sailor left a note that night, to the rotund Scot
It read that they had once met, but Fatty had forgot.
The note told of a haircut, that had left the man upset,
Where once a sailor's mane had been, now was pink sunset.
The sailor said it never grew back to what it were,
And all maidens who had waited, laughed at his head without hair.
The sailor had lost everything, to which he had held dear,
So the sailor had taken everything, except Fatty's Teddy Bear.