h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When I saw this thread I was overcome by the need to share the very recent experience of my flatmate (male) who recently went to stay with a woman he'd met a couple of times, but didn't know very well. Let it be a warning to all of us, when it comes to blind dates.

He met this woman in our local, when she was in the area on holiday. It's rumoured - although unconfirmed - that after he left the pub following their first meeting, she turned to her friends and declared "he's going to be my next boyfriend." Whether that's true or not, it's fair to say that her intentions were clear, the next time they met she took his number and offered to stay the night with him if he drove her home (200 miles away) the next morning. He declined her kind offer, but was undoubtedly flattered by the attention.

She rang and left five messages in the next two days. Alarm bells ringing anyone? Not for my flatmate, he just ignored her calls for a couple of weeks before finally putting the poor woman out of her misery and calling her back. All of a sudden, she'd invited him to go and stay at her house and he'd accepted the invitation.

He later said that he should have known it was a mistake when they met at her local pub and she was wearing a very white, very tight outfit (why he didn't know earlier is anyone's guess!) He was suddenly aware that she didn't do anything for him, but having driven all that way, he wasn't in the position to turn around and go back.

The outfit was unfortunately the high point of his stay. Her house is reported to have been filthy, he had a cold but she refused to put the heating on because she doesn't like it too warm, she had no food in the house, no milk in the fridge and the hot water in the bathroom wasn't working so he could only have a cold shower, which he hardly needed On the first night he was there, he drank a couple of bottles of wine and she drank four. While she was drunk, she told him about the other men that she invites round to her house, but thoughtfully told him he was different because she'd like to have a relationship with him. The next day she spent all day in bed with a hangover, only getting up to give him the pile of takeaway menus so he could buy some food, then to watch Strictly.

I've never seen a person look so traumatised as he did when he returned from his weekend away. He learned a very valuable lesson, and thankfully taught me it at the same time! First dates are important and taking the time to get to know somebody properly is a must. No matter how keen they are, or how desperate you are!

And - because I know you're all wondering - he hasn't seen her again. Despite the three text messages she sent him between him leaving her house and arriving home. Despite the fact that she invited him to go to a friend's wedding with her. And despite the fact when he rang her to tell her that he'd rather not see her again, she thought he was joking ...

Was that lady in white actually you CGG?

No. I live with the guy. I know he likes his creature comforts and women in tight, white outfits aren't his thing.

Shall I tell you about my dating disaster? I have a stalker and his name is George. He follows me around internet forums

A salutory tale, claretgunnergirl! Thank you for sharing it.

Thank you h2g2 editors I'm glad I was able to make use of a sorry tale

Well done CGG.

I've never had a bad first date. My charm melts all hearts.

I've never had a bad first date either. But loads of my ex-girlfriends have.

An appallingly transparent attempt to curry favour with the Great Gods of HooToo.

You cynical man Eames.

I'm off to write an article about gardening now on h2g2.

How can you say such a thing Eames?! It was a blatant attepmt to get millions of people to laugh at the foolishness of my flatmate actually And if the Gods of h2g2 viewed it favourably, that's an added bonus