h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Talking with Cats - A583814
Author: Gnomon - U151503

The reason behind this entry will be revealed in the next issue of The Post. In the meantime, if you could do your usually peer reviewing on it, it would be appreciated.

I'm not entirely sure how to take this. It doesn't look as if it was written by you - are you submitting it on somebody else's behalf?

It was written by me.

>>A cat will not normally hiss at his owner, and if he does so, will be extremely ashamed while he's doing it.<<

Why would a cat be 'ashamed'?
And don't people claim that not you own the cat, but the cat owns you?

People do claim it, but it is not really true. Cats know and love their owners, even if it's only because they recognise where the food comes from.

But I've heard that a lost or 'moved' cat will return to the place it used to live, not to its owner. Isn't that true, either?

Also, my s my and vice versa. They spend lengthy amounts of time either curled up together on an armchair of sofa, or even licking each other all over.

There appears to be some confusion (might be only me though) as to whether entry is capitalised or not.

Looking forward to reading more fab articles in

Well, in the context of hootoo entries, the initial 'E' is capitalised, thus 'Entry'.

As far as I could see, Gnomon only used the word once, and iot was so-capitalised.

Thanks, Opti. There is certainly disagreement on whether the word Entry should be capitalised. But I wouldn't call it confusion - I'm not in the least bit confused, whether I am right or wrong. The problem is that the guidelines say that Guide Entries should be capitalised, but that when you use the word entry in general it should not.

I take this to mean that any Entry in h2g2 is capitalised, but when you are using the word entry for other sorts of entry such as the entry of Elvis into the building, then it is not capitalised. Some others interpret it differently.

Cats have been known to return to their homes when moved, certainly.

You have to remember that cats are very intelligent, but the things they are intelligent about are not the things that humans think about. Someone said "If a lion could speak, we would not be able to understand him". It might have been Wittgenstein. This Entry explores those aspects of the cat which we can understand.

>>The Purr -

cats purr deep in their throats as a sign that they are happy. A contented cat can apparently keep up a continuous purring as they can make the sound while breathing in as well as breathing out. It sounds like a trilled 'r', once again using our Spanish or Italian friend to do the trilling, but without a break.
The Hiss - a hiss is a throaty 'h' sound accompanied by backward pointing ears. It signifies anger and fright. A cat will hiss as a warning to you not to come any closer. A cat will not normally hiss at his owner, and if he does so, will be extremely ashamed while he's doing it.<<

You have a double line spacing between The Purr - (and the sentence)

While you miss a line break between that and The Hiss


lil x

Gnomon, this is a delightful read.

>>A cat will not normally hiss at his owner, and if he does so, will be extremely ashamed while he's doing it.<<

Ascribing shame seems anthropomorphic - not that I'm not willing to believe it, mind. 'Conflicted' just seems more along the lines of what I've observed.


Btw, I've always tried to incorporate sibilance into my conversations with resident kitties. 'Missssterrr Ssssqueeekerrrssss' for example. It seems to work for them, but I haven't actually confirmed this in any meaningful way.

I've noticed the dilated pupils before, but didn't exactly make the connection. Really, this is just full of good information.

We don't currently have a resident cat but we do have a regular visitor who lives a street away. He's surprisingly agile for a three-legged cat, I've seen him vault and climb as if his 4th leg is just invisible, not missing. He wears a collar with tag which has his name and address and phone number of the house. However, when he started visiting us (over two high fences), my son christened him "Twinkle" and I told him that's not the cat's name, but he insists it is, so now we both call him Twinkle, and the cat responds to it. Andrew speaks to him in a high sing-song voice, that is, much higher than his usual voice, and the cat responds by twitching his tail and raising his head and even offering his tummy to be stroked. I asked him once why he uses that voice to speak to the cat and my son replied "Because you do" and I hadn't realised that I did, it's my "baby/toddler" voice, as in it's not what you say but the tone which soothes.

The cat has been known to "disappear" for weeks, but it's guaranteed that when Andrew asks if I've seen Twinkle recently, and I say no, Twinkle turns up within a day or so, and he has been known to show up when I've needed some company. Usually he's sat by my front door on a Wednesday, which is my grocery shopping day and I generally tell him "There's nothing for you" in my sing-song voice but he hangs around anyway, proving he's not here for food as he never gets fed here.


I was under the impression that you should blink once slowly to say "Hello" to cats, but don't recall where I heard that. It's always worked for me.

GB

Thanks, lil. I've fixed the line spacing problem. It was just a in the wrong place. That's the problem with writing an entry in a hurry, you don't get a chance to check these things.

Thanks, GB, for reminding me about the eye-blink. I thought I'd included that. I'll put it in.

I'm not sure whether we normally link to youtube in Entries, so I'll put a link here for anyone who's interested.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=muLIPWjks_M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muLIPWjks_M

That's greatthe size of those eyes reminded me of Puss in Shrek

You're quite correct, YouTube links aren't allowed, due to copyright issues, I've known entries disappear due to their containing them.