h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As promised (if a little belated)

*** AUGUSTUS***

2nd para of 'Augustus and the Empire' - The use of the bracketed sentence doesn't fit the h2g2 house style. I'd suggest it's amended to:

... under the control of the Senate (alhough since Augustus had pro-consular power and could overrule the Senate, everything was still essentially under his command). One could go so far as to say...

Augustus' Downfall

There's an incomplete sentence in the middle, "When he died peacefully in his villa in 14 AD." that needs to be incorporated into the sentence either before or after it.



*** TIBERIUS ***

Pre-Imperial Life: I'd suggest removing the word 'him' from the sentence "That future was assured him when, circa 38BC..." - you probably don't need the pronoun there and without it, the sentence flows a bit easier.

The 'Rule' of Sejanus: I'd put the explanation of what a Praetorian Prefect is into a footnote. The following sentences use the word 'power' twice in a short space - could you replace one of them?

In the section on Sejanus, is it worth expanding on his apparent connection with Pontius Pilate and hence Jesus Christ's execution?


*** CALIGULA ****

The only suggestion I'd make is perhaps to rephrase the header "So Was He Really Crazy?" to "So Was He Really Insane?"



*** CLAUDIUS ****

Pre-Imperial Life: That first sentence of the fourth paragraph ("Claudius, although luckier...") is a bit long and convoluted. Could you do a rewrite on it to make it a touch clearer?




Aside from those few very minor points, I think it's all rather bloody marvellous!

Paully

"I think it's all rather bloody marvellous!"

As do I. I'd be amazed if anyone in PR finds anything negative to say.

Found a sub-ed yet?

Thanks so much for all that, Paully. All the errors have been fixed!

I'd prefer not to go into more detail about Sejanus, since the entry is actually about Tiberius. Things like Sejanus' relationship with Livilla do reflect back on Tiberius, but Pontius Pilate and Jesus' crucifixion would better belong in an entry on Sejanus himself, on Pilate or on Jesus.

Hmm, I would quite like to write an entry called 'Jesus - the Man'. I will put it on my to-do list, I think.

I was going to write Nero on Tuesday, but then I became ill. So hopefully it will happen before the beginning of next week.

SchrEck has agreed to sub the project, Elentari. (Hooray!)

Glad you've got a sub - when's the provisional end date again?

Erm, the 30th of November. It's not going to happen by then, seeing as I'm ill and haven't been up to writing Nero, but I'm hoping that as soon as I'm better I will.

Don't rush yourself, EMR - we'd much sooner have a project that you're happy with rather than one that you feel has been rushed simply to hit a deadline!

P

Thank you, Paully - that's most encouraging.