h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think they're a bloody good idea, it'll keep the dickheads currently going to Preston University ex-poly and doing Sport in the Community or other rubbish degrees that are bringing the value of the British Degree down. Tuition fees will go some way to ensuring that the people who make it to university are the people who really want to be there and get a good degree. If you're poor, you don't have to pay them, so everyone gets a chance.

Only if you're cup-of-cold-gravel poor will you escape tuition fees. Only if you're cup-of-warm-gravel poor will you get the full grant to pay the fees with, unless Mummy and Daddy are rich enough to afford an accountant, in which case they get the full grant but neglect to pick it up as they don't need it. Loans will, of course, increase to allow people with zero money to matriculate and also to allow them to have their souls taken from them forever by the SLC. Are you sure you didn't mean "jolly good idea"?