Wandering through h2g2 my attention was drawn to a wonderful, magical page: Camelot. There are plenty of places to visit on h2g2 for drinking or conversing, but this one is special because it gives you the chance to be interactive and join in with the fun of creating scenes from legend. I have reproduced this place for you here and hope that you may be tempted to go along and participate.

This is not really a game, more a private place where you can work out your fantasies, study the complex interactions of a diverse set of ever-changing characters in a confined setting, or have fun. If you are new to h2g2 you may have to run along and register before you can contribute your words of wisdom, wit and insight. The rest of you know what to do.

Camelot is a many towered castle in, shall we say, The West Country. We should keep its actual location a secret. It has:

• Some dungeons with bats and spiders!
• A turret for damsels in distress to wave from.
• A grand hall for the round table.
• A war room, in which to plan your enemies' destruction.
• Some kitchens.
• The Royal Bedchamber.

Below the high castle walls is a moat with:

• A Boathouse.
• A drawbridge at The Gateway, next to which, conveniently, is
• The Lottery Kiosk. Beyond the moat a track leads past
• The Menagerie to
• A shady glade - with lake - in the forest beyond which is
• The Witches Cottage and, hardly visible from the tallest turret of the castle, in the far distant reaches of the thickest part of the forest is an
• Ogres Lair.
• Over to the north, you can see The Battlefield, Not yet bloody, but it will be, it will be.

There are many other rooms and places to go. These will be added by you as time goes by. As and when you open a room, it will be added.

Camelot is populated by a great many movers and shakers, vassals and vermin. They include:

• Arthur
  
  He was born at Tintagel, the illegitimate son of Uther and grandson of Constantine who had tried, if you remember, to restore the Roman Empire from the remote island of Britain. He grew up to be a great and wise king, brave, valiant, noble and lots of other jolly good things. He won loads of battles, beating up all sorts of people and uniting the kingdom of Albion. Having done that, he, with his knights, toddled off on a great adventure, the search for The Holy Grail. This was in the possession of a chap called The Fisher King, but, unfortunately, no-one knew where he lived. The travails of Arthur and all his knights were many and arduous, and almost all died, more or less valiantly, along the way. Eventually, having returned from the great adventure, the tired, weary, saddened and now quite old Arthur was mortally wounded in battle with his wicked son and taken off by some ghostly ladies to be buried on the isle of Avalon, now known as Glastonbury. He will one day return, for he is the once and future King.
• Guinevere
  
  The totally gorgeous queen who was nevertheless neglected by Arthur, forever off fighting battles. She turned, in her hours of 'physical' need to:
• Lancelot
  
  a strange French bod, who appeared one day from nowhere, and won all the sports events, tournaments and so forth, quickly becoming Arthur's best knight, before cuckolding him when he was off fighting. Nevertheless he was brave, valiant, noble and all that stuff. The dalliance with the queen much upset Arthur, who was thus distracted from his plans for his final battle with
• Mordred
  
  the aforementioned evil son who (allegedly) was the result of a rather steamy (allegedly) incestuous relationship between Arthur and his half-sister
• Morgan La Fey
  
  A dark temptress with (allegedly) raven locks, (probably) long fingernails and a penchant for lotions, potions and evil spells and the like. She may have been something of a stranger to truth and honesty, and a little on the all-devouring side of randy. In the absence of DNA evidence, however, we shall have to take her word as to Mordred's parentage, but Freud may have had something to say as to young Mordred's state of mind, come the final battle.
• Merlin
  
  was Arthur's secret weapon. A wizard and general know-it-all, who gave Arthur much of the wisdom and many of the wise words needed to keep control of his knights and family. He also helped Arthur get his non-secret weapon, a sword called Excalibur - don't ask, its a long story - This sword was once repaired by
• The Lady of the Lake
  
  a sort of underwater blacksmith, of whom we only ever see an arm. She also took possession of Excalibur after Arthur's last surviving gallant, if slightly dopy, knight
• Bedevere
  
  chucked it in the lake, at the second time of asking.

There were loads of knights, each with their particular talents and abilities. Many of whom marked their names on the round table¹ with their Celtic Army Penknives. Choose from
Tristram, Galahad, Gawain, Percival, Lionel, Gareth, Bleoberis, Lucan, Palomedes, Boris, Lamorak, Kay, Pelleus, Safer, Hector, Degore, Dagonet, Brunor(Le Noir), Le Bel Disconneu, Alynore, La Cotemal Taile.

as well as the aforementioned Lancelot, Bedevere and Mordred. Some of these guys were French, of course. Albion included a large part of France.

Oh, and we should not forget the Lady of Shalott who had a bit of a pash for the Lancelot fellow and ended up floating down the river in a dramatic, if lifeless, pose, to join him at Camelot. The noble Knight did notice the corpse, but, by then, it was too late, she being dead and everything.

Well, you can make up the plot as you go along. For those unfamiliar with the story of Arthur, you could remember, instead, the Star Wars plot. For Arthur read Luke Skywalker, for Lancelot, Hans Solo, Guinevere is Princess Leia, Merlin is Ben Kenobi and so on and so forth.

Dead easy. Join a conversation in one of the rooms, as a character. Put square brackets around the character's name, e.g. [Arthur] in the first line, so that everyone knows who you are. If you wish to take over a character that someone else is 'playing', then just do it, to quote a trainer. They may mind very much, but that's part of the fun. It would be nice to take note of how the character has developed thus far, but if you fancy a little schizophrenia, feel free. Try, however, to avoid simulposts. If someone else is rattling off the entries for a particular character, then it might be polite to wait until they have calmed down or gone off somewhere else. If you want to discover a new room, just open a new conversation in the name of the room. If you want to introduce a new character, feel free, but try and keep within the Arthurian theme. e.g. [Isolde](Lover of Tristram).

Let the derring-do commence!!...

Pheroneous

To participate in this excellent adventure, hie along to Camelot (A place of enchantment and participation) and plunge straight in!

24.05.01. Front Page

Back Issue Page