h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sometimes you end up with the wrong partner without realising,

You hitch up with someone without being aware that you are not in love with them to your fullest ability.

Then someone comes along who makes you realise you are capable of feeling more. It's not necessarily that you want to drop everything for the new person, its less than that. It's more a fact that you become aware that you made the wrong choice in the first place.

I think that simplifying something as involved as the breakdown of a relationship to four reasons is horribly naive, and a little offensive.

I do agree that people try less as time goes on, I think most of us have probably been guilty of that one, but to suggest that every thing else boils down to your perception and emulation of your parents seems to over simplify, and is slightly Freudian!

Sorry if my tone is a bit off, but I'm overly sensitive at the moment.

Hi Toccata, (assuming you are a male but not quite sure )

talking about partnerships is always a little embarrassing. But, you know, if you want to explain things, you have to drill down to where they are analysable. You may be right, but you don't give an explanation, and maybe my reasons for having a somehow wrong partnership even apply to your case. Maybe the partner you once had couldn't let you develop your love to the fullest extend because there was no love between her parents and she unconsciously tried to build the same kind of relationship between you and her.

I don't see any connection to Freud in my reasoning, actually I hate Freud, he was so wrong with the most he said.

Cheer up,
Wonko

Hullo Wonko

Thankyou for your quick reply to my late night witterings, the constraints of work prevented me from replying sooner.

Just for Info, I'm female! but you aren't the first person online to assume I'm male, and it doesn't really matter.

I shall have a good think before I reply properly, because all this is very much a current issue for me, rather than in the past, hence my sensitivity over it!



Toccata

*waves at Wonko*

Perhaps it would help to note that all the planning in the world is no guarantee. Sometimes there's just no good way to know that you've got the wrong partner until it's too late.

Hi Toccata, so sorry for mistaking you gender! As a female it's even harder for you to find the kind of intense love you are looking for. You know, I'm very positive about people, that's why I think it's not the people who are somehow wrong, but the circumstances. This is of no help, of course, when you are in the middle of some partnership mess, but maybe it helps to free yourself from hatred.

And that too is the reason why I try to plan things in advance, replacing bad circumstances with good ones, hoping for the best. But you are right, Fragilis the beautiful, there is no guarantee, and I had quite a share in bad endings of partnerships.

But I never give up in trying, and so should you!

Wonko, who loves happy endings.

* Waves hullo to Fragilis *

Luckily, there is no hatred, and by treading carefully, I hope to keep it that way.

He's a good chap, and who knows, it may all work out yet, but somehow.......

After six years, you get used to things, and change is more than a little scary.

Fragilis is probably right, sometimes these things just happen.Divorce isn't something I thought I would end up considering, but I feel such a hypocrite at the moment. We shall keep talking, and see what happens.

I feel it will all work out for the best in the end, just feel somewhat lost right now.


Toccata,

Heh heh. You should read my journal entry on 'Limbo,' Toccata. I know exactly how you feel!

Well, except for the hypocrite thing. I never took the marriage vows in the first place...

Cheers for that, It helps to hear how others feel about stuff.

We're still in the same house albeit in seperate rooms.(although I've currently run away for a few days)

The Hypocrite thing is more staying in a relationship when I don't FEEL anything.

Hope you decide what you want.

The not being sure is the bit that mucks you up.

Have you considered taking a lover, just to build you up?

Thanks, Toccata. Wonko, I assume that question was addressed to her?

Actually, I find not knowing liberating and exciting. When it stops feeling that way (as I'm sure it will), I'll probably figure out where I'm going next.

That's what I do, moving on and gaining insight!

As fun as taking a lover might be, ( and some of that sort of fun certainly wouldn't go amiss right now )

I think it would just confuse matters, I've always been a one guy girl, that's why having feelings for someone else is mucking me up so much.

Anyway, the husband type chap has done nothing to deserve being treated like that!

Glad that you're getting something out of your situation Fragilis, even if it's only a bit of excitement.

Husband type chap makes me chuckle. Wonder what my wives say...

Me! I'm Just A Goon fan, so goonerisms creap into my speech!

Sorry, could you please explain Goon to me?

They are a nearly extinct British Radio Comedy, Started in the 50's I believe.

A quick search suggests http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A206399 will tell you more.

I find them Very Daft and Very Funny, they are an aquired taste though.

Most Brits Love 'em or Hate 'em

Toccata

Oh well, I love Peter Sellers. And I'm singing the Pink Panther theme to my children to fall asleep.