How to avoid getting the wrong partner
Created | Updated Jan 23, 2013
In Short
Take a close look at your would be partner's parents and, if you don't like the way they treat each other, get rid of her/him.
And here is why
The Disaster ...
Many people realize that they have the wrong partner after quite some time, having wasted the precious moments of their life only to find themselves at a point of no return: they can't go back in time and they have not been able to remain happy. Let's try to analyse the worsening stages of a partnership and how to avoid them alltogether.
... unfolds
First stage: Everything is wonderful, your partner is the most beautiful, friendly, loving and caring person of the world. This might even be true even if you think love is blind. There's a reason for that: you and your partner try very hard, giving you wonderful 3 months, maybe one year of happiness.
Second stage: Things begin to settle, little problems begin to emerge, but nothing you cannot cope with. And here comes the crucial part. Your partner begins to play small, silly little games that force you to play a role you don't want. You can't escape it, and begin to change.
Third stage: You and your partner both play these games every day. You keep saying the same sentences, although you never said them in your life before, you keep doing the same things, making the same mistakes, although you had been convinced before that you'd never gone make them.
Final stage: You hate yourself and/or your partner.
Reasons
What is it that turns loving people into self repeating robots?
There are four reasons for that:
1. You don't try as hard as in the beginning
2. Your partner doesn't try as hard as in the beginning
3. You are playing games
4. Your partner is playing games
Reasons 1 and 2 are quite normal as we all are human beings with limited energy, especially when having children.
Reasons 3 and 4 are very hard to tackle. Let's have a closer look at those games, they are the key to understanding people and partnerships. They are learned from the parents at childhood and everybody tries to play games with her/his partner, playing the role of one of her/his parents and forcing the role of the other of her/his parents upon the partner.
Solution
So here is how to avoid getting the wrong partner: Get to know her/his parents, its like a trip into the future as your would be partner probably will be like them, playing all the games they do and, if you don't like their games get rid of her/him right now.
And, while we're at it, if you think you've found the right one, try very hard like you did in the beginning of your partnership and avoid being like our parents. Good luck!
