Crime Fighting Unit 6
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
There is crime in this universe.
And there are people who fight that crime.
There are superheroes who fight using marvellous lasers and special powers.
And then, there's us.
Who cleans up after the superheroes' mess? We do.
We aren't glory seekers, we just do the job. That, and we get paid. We are the new galactic police. The old units have been phased out according to the Galactic Council Ruling 6670.
We are the new crop. The best of the best.
And we have the latest equipment.
There is Arnie, Serious Cybernetic Corporation's latest droid model. He comes with a feature that they blactantly copied out of some book, Genuine People Personality.
Arnie is a heavy drinker (5 star oil) he can get very irritated at times, but I have never seen anything run away so fast in a battle before.
So, with him as a shield and the brave (yet cautious) members of Crime Fighting Unit 6 hiding behind him firing their guns every now and again for the show of it. We shall defeat this crime.
We have many fine technological weapons on our side. We have Biffo the Computer who can draw any hacker into the open by hosting a game of Quake III Arena.
We have our BLaST helmets with blue flashing lights on the top.
We have Ojubobo Rifles capable of unleashing fiery death at 300 paces.
We have skilled Medical Bots who will replace your eyeborws after they are burnt off by the Ojubobo Rifles.
We have (and this is the most exciting)our starship the USS Chiverton. It is huge. To give you a felling of the scale of it think Red Dwarf (the ship in the opening credits, not the show). Think something a quarter of the size of that. Half it. Half it again. And again. And again. And again. And again. Once more. Okay? A sixteenth of that.
The Chiverton dodges, rolls, fires torpedoes and frequently breaks down, just like the best of them.
So enrole now.
Crime Fighting Unit 6.
The future of crime fighting.
And there are people who fight that crime.
There are superheroes who fight using marvellous lasers and special powers.
And then, there's us.
Who cleans up after the superheroes' mess? We do.
We aren't glory seekers, we just do the job. That, and we get paid. We are the new galactic police. The old units have been phased out according to the Galactic Council Ruling 6670.
We are the new crop. The best of the best.
And we have the latest equipment.
There is Arnie, Serious Cybernetic Corporation's latest droid model. He comes with a feature that they blactantly copied out of some book, Genuine People Personality.
Arnie is a heavy drinker (5 star oil) he can get very irritated at times, but I have never seen anything run away so fast in a battle before.
So, with him as a shield and the brave (yet cautious) members of Crime Fighting Unit 6 hiding behind him firing their guns every now and again for the show of it. We shall defeat this crime.
We have many fine technological weapons on our side. We have Biffo the Computer who can draw any hacker into the open by hosting a game of Quake III Arena.
We have our BLaST helmets with blue flashing lights on the top.
We have Ojubobo Rifles capable of unleashing fiery death at 300 paces.
We have skilled Medical Bots who will replace your eyeborws after they are burnt off by the Ojubobo Rifles.
We have (and this is the most exciting)our starship the USS Chiverton. It is huge. To give you a felling of the scale of it think Red Dwarf (the ship in the opening credits, not the show). Think something a quarter of the size of that. Half it. Half it again. And again. And again. And again. And again. Once more. Okay? A sixteenth of that.
The Chiverton dodges, rolls, fires torpedoes and frequently breaks down, just like the best of them.
So enrole now.
Crime Fighting Unit 6.
The future of crime fighting.
