h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As I (I henceforth will be replaced with "the author") sit here with my cursor blink-blink-blinking, watching what amounts as the tantamount movie of the century (I talk about none other than the pivotal cinematic masterpiece Trainspotting) and enjoying an ice-cold brew, several things pop into the authors mind. The most striking of which is a poem by Edgar Allen Poe. Why is this striking, you ask? Why is this significant? The author wonders, doesn't everyone think about Edgar Allen Poe while enjoying a cockney British drug comedy and bottle of Bud? Perhaps this is why this is striking, all sarcasm aside. The author wishes to illustrate that this is exactly the situation that the poem in question popped into mind. Now reader, the author makes no presumption that you, as the reader, have any knowledge of Poe himself aside from the popular morphine addiction and a rather lengthy scribbling called The Raven, and most assuredly most of the readers possesses not even this much knowledge and undoubtedly the rest of you have much more than the author himself . . .why do I mention this . . .think of it as a mild disclaimer as to the interpretation of the intoxicated state under which this particular poem springs to mind.
The poem in question is one entitled "The Happiest Day, The Happiest Hour." To all of you readers unfamiliar with this particular masterpiece, and the author genuinely believes that anything written by the afore mentioned poet is a masterpiece. Let's face it, how many of us have had trouble conjugating regular verbs in whatever language you, as the reader, prefer let alone morphine. I mean writing whilst incapable of feeling the very fingers you are writing with takes a lot of skill, don't you think?
But alas, the author has digressed. Back to the point. The Masterpiece. This particular poem, again for all of you unaware that he wrote more than a drug induced rhyme scheme about a particularly dark and foreboding member of the flying species of the planet, is about his best moment, the moment in which he was the happiest. The author encourages the reader to flip through the poem to understand and find the readers own personal happiest day, happiest hour. But the author chooses this medium to share with the reader one of many moments that make him the happiest. But unfortunalty this is a particularly sensitive subject of which he has since moved on with his life. So fear not reader for the sanity of the author, that has never been assured, his life is much better now than it ever was. Perhaps a catharsis can be reached for the author, though I fear one might not be needed and in the event that catharses are in short supply from the man upstairs I hesitate to use one up.
Reader, do you remember your first love? It's funny isn't it that only in an intoxicated state do you think of things such as this. You think of the jobs you could have had. The things you should have done. The relationships you should have done differently. Nostalgia is synonymous with alcohol. But the author will share with the reader a moment of happiness like none other. And reader as you read this bear in mind that this one of many.
I can remember (enter now a symphony of violins or clarinets) waking up one Saturday morning in my apartment. The winter weather had not yielded to any measure of warmth, and the sun had been up for hours. As I slowly gain consciousness I feel warmth in the bed next to me. I look over and there she is, the one whom I loved more dearly than anything. I roll over and wrap myself in the ever so popular spoon fashion and hold her close. I can feel her heart beat through her back, and her naked flesh next to mine is invigorating and calming at the same time. She rolls over and with the heat of her first breath she says I love you. Now the reader can infer what they themselves might do with a naked member of the opposite sex with whom they have had a monogamous relationship for the better part of three years with, but the author wishes to address the fact that nothing sexual happened on the morning in question. I held her close to me and looked into her newly opened eyes, wondering what might the day bring and fearing nothing because as long as I had that moment I needed nothing further. And as sickeningly romantic it might sound to the reader, looking at her with her long golden blond hair flowing haphazardly along the pillows gave the author one of the greatest pleasures ever known. The beauty of her in that one moment makes all the sunsets and all the moonlight walks and all the paintings in the world pale in comparison. We slowly roll out of bed, regrettably the author adds, and start the morning, and what a beautiful morning it turned out to be. We flake over what each other wants for breakfast and decide that neither one of us was for the most part hungry, so we shared a long kiss and an even longer shower.
Now allow the author to describe to the reader the whole shower realm of a relationship should the reader not ever have experienced it. A shower with your significant other and it does have to be a significant other. For should it be with a passing fancy or a relation on the skids, the reader will most assuredly miss the magic of it. But with your mate, the shower can be a place of the utmost pleasure both intimately and non intimately. The author will not discuss with the reader any degree of intimacy in the shower, for he feels that if the reader needs a random researcher on this medium to describe how to do "it," that particular reader has no business doing "it" at all. Rather the more intament and sentimental and perhaps romantic aspect of it will be described. But a shower can be the best experience of ones relationship, sometimes even to the point where you get dirty on purpose just to enjoy a shower with the formerly mentioned mate. But the way soap and shampoo flow over the body, especially in the author's opinion the females, allows the touch of another human being to take on a different sensation. It is more of a romantic, smooth and almost gentile touch. Should one close their eyes, this can bring new closeness to the individuals. Even the non-tactile responses in the shower lend themselves to new heights of pleasure. Standing back in the corner and watching the way the water runs down the body, hugging every possible curve and every possible part. The way she would run her hands through her hair and arch her back looking to the ceiling as the shower beat on her god given chest . . .let the reader be assured that that was heavenly. The smell that a woman, and I am sure the female readers can give a reasonable amount of reciprocation, has in a shower is next only to heaven, in this authors opinion. And as she would turn and look at me, in her most vulnerable, I would move forward and press myself onto her body and hold her close and she did the same. Ladies and Gentlemen, that alone in and of itself is the most spectacular and special moment I can think of.
So we decide to get out of the shower, long after the water has turned cold, and continue on with our day. Together we decide that the mall and a movie is the thing to do for the day. Now as a male, shopping is notoriously an unpleasant moment, but I felt neither squeamish nor afraid of looking at those ugly cotton panties or another darn pair of shoes, in fact I, more often than not, purchased them. Shopping malls presented the author with an enormous amount of "show off" time, and this particular instance public affection came as naturally as breathing. Holding hands, whispering all sorts of things to each other, both clean and unclean, looking at stuff that we knew we couldn't afford, but just the fact we were together made us the richest people on earth, so thusly we could afford to look. That alone was enough. Then the movies. A perfect opportunity to hold each other close and bask in the emotion in its most pure and unadulterated form. Holding and breathing together as one. . .reader that is by far the best thing.
Once we get home, nothing fancy happens. Dinner, another long and beautiful shower, and crawling into bed, naked of course. Please allow the reader to caveat this with saying something that is of his own personal opinion. We were created naked; we do not wear Calvin klien and guess naturally, so bedtime is the time when we revert to our most base of instincts. To share a bed with a woman, again coming from a man's point of view, who is naked and you are as well, the bonding that happens and the trust and intimacy that develops is unparalleled. The feel of her naked back against your chest pressing and depressing as she breathes, the feel of her smooth butt as you press your member against, the way her body smells and the heat that comes form it. That alone can sustain a man better than any food. If the author had that and only that, he could live forever.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the happiest days of my life. Should any of you readers never have experienced a love like this, then you are surely missing out on a vital part of life. But as was mentioned before, and as the reader has probably inferred the relationship came to an end. Mainly due to professional goals that didn't jive. But the love felt was pure and lovely and beautiful.
Why does alcohol create such nostalgia? Who knows, but I am thankful for it. For I know in my heart that I will take these lessons with me no matter where I go and the woman who ends up with a sorry sod like myself will profit from these pure and innocent moments.

To all you researchers out there, I wish you luck in your ventures and Godspeed. And I will be here to read about your exploits, and look forward to it.

I need to check on the info page to see if that's the longest post of the last 24 hours...... well, they don't list that one any more, but you're at the top of the list of researchers with the longest postings Aaron (7 posts, average size 7083) Well done And of course, our own dear Shea is top of the list of most prolific posters (190 posts, average size 142) Hooray!

*sigh*

Why the Sigh my friend?

To the others that my read Mr O'kefe's work here today (when ever that might be) I must explain some of the things I took away from this reading I have personally known this individual for many a year going to school and such with him I have know the background of said individual and had the pleasure of reading other works by him and also have met the girl that is so fondly described in this text I have heard other countless tales by him of his time in college while I was off in almost a different world I actually upon coming home to visit my family had the pleasure of talking to this man's parents lovely lovely people unless you count his mother almost forcing you to drink and eat as much as possible while you visit I was told on countless times that I should talk some sense into mr o'kefe and get him to think about what he was doing the funny thing about it was between the two of us Mr O'kefe was always saw as the responsible person and I the one people would have to watch out for and here I am sitting in his house and having his mother telling me to talk him out of doing things this is not just saying his relationship with the girl in the story but a big host of other things from such things as getting Class A's professionally pressed and boot shining to things such as work and school me give him advice on school what did I know about collage not a dag on thing but I have totally got off track and that's how I am so there ok go back to the top and just skip from the whole
"also have met the girl that is so fondly described in this text"
then come back here well go ahead I am waiting


Ah here we are
I must say in the 5 odd years we have been out of school together much has changed and we have both seen many things and done many things I must say that his memory and writing skills are enhanced by alcohol much like Poe and morphine I have not seen this attention to detail in any of his works that I have read up to date (the whole club thing was good but this is even better) This I must point out for the reader though the perfect moment that it may have been (and it did seem like a great memory to me) is somewhat clouded by the fact that the girl latter turned out to be kinda scary (those are my words and feelings not mr o'kefe's) so when dirinking and remembering as we like to call it the good old days many of us try to judge our current position and say look at what I had or look what I could do then that I cannot now and that my friends (because if you have put up with my babbling this far I must consider you a friend or at least a very smart and beautiful person that I would want to be my friend)

In my travels and such I have found at times to be without friend and family close by and been in a position were I start thinking back and saying what if I made this choice or asked this girl out or did this or done that (in fact I almost made a huge mistake about an old girl friend of mine in just such a mode thank goodness for small favors from strangers and broken telephones but that is a totaly diffrent story and I have once again got off topic) and I always come back to the fact that I would not be in the position I am in today or at the time that I am thinking this anyway but what would I have lost that I have gained on the path that I have chosen I have gained far more than I have ever ever lost even when I look back and say many I am a dumb @ss for making that choice the future is never certain and though one choice can be life changing there is no way to guess how the future or a different future might have been if you had made a different choice all those years ago so as a word of warning when you find your self in this state and are looking back at choices or people in your past remember what happened after and remember what you would not have gained if you would not have made that choice in the past

Wow that's about it for now took a while to say but that's it that's the whole point I was trying to make and if you made it this far I must apologize for the round about way I got to said point and with little punctuation I love that

So Aaron keep getting drunk and writing and you the other readers be careful when you try to follow this alcoholic's lead that you don't put yourself or your choices down when you are thinking back on days gone by

That is all for now

My sigh was for the fact that what you wrote was beautiful, and I was headed for my empty bed shortly after reading it ...

Aaron, you write very well, you might want to consider rewriting some of your musings in third person, and putting them up as Guide Entries ... I think they'd fit into the "Life" category ...

Tacsatduck (I don't know why, but that felt awkward to type!), you're absolutely right about not beating yourself up over choices you've made. That's done, and gone, and you can't dwell on it ... A part of my life that I find ironic is, that if I never left my first job 20 years ago, I'd still be working for the same parent company! So much for all those choices in between!

I appreciate the vote of confidence on my writing and I think I would like my entry posted there, but require a little bit of assistance. How do I do it? and who do I give it to.

And worry not for tacsatduck. He is a great friend of mine and has been so for many a year, and I am sure he could embellish on the lady in question in my essay real well.

Thank you again Shae and I look forward to further correspondence with this entry and all my subsequent ones.

Aaron

Well Aaron, if you post it as an entry (just click on "Click here to add a new Guide Entry" on your Personal Space), you can then put it up for Peer Review (you can click on the ad at the top of the page for more information about that).

Once an Entry is in Peer Review, people come by to read it, and comment on it. Once a Scout sees it, s/he will then let you know whether it's Edited Guide Entry material, what work may be needed on it, or if it should be placed into the Writer's Workshop for some help.

I'm not a Scout, but I've enjoyed your work, so I assume others will as well ...

do you find my writing hard to type or my name I think you mean my name and I guess it is a little bit of a strech most of the letters are on the one hand and it is an unusal combination of letters If it's my writing then I am not sure what you mean


And yes Aaron I could go into greater detail about her but I don't think that is a must (thank goodness)

Good call D-Money