h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Museum Insel Hombroich - A52732578
Author: Malabarista - Most people's horizon is a circle with a radius of zero. They call it their point of view. - U1528154

Been meaning to write this one for a year!

I tried not to make it too wordy; especially the architectural bits.

Special prize for anyone who finds a "pavillion" - that word always throws me, because it has two ls in German but only the one (plus an extra i) in English.

Have you been there, Bel? I've always thought it would make a good place for a Meet

A delightful read, very much evoking a 'feel' for the place.

To be truthful, I wasn't very keen on the opening paragraph. Nowadays, many museums manage not to be 'series of stuffy halls...'. Not all open-air museums are new 'old' buildings filled with people in new 'old' clothes doing ordinary tasks in an archaic way. Plus, it's hard to see how 'ordinary tasks in an archaic way' relates to the place you describe.

In the paragraph starting "Today, the Stiftung Insel Hombroich owns about 250 hectares. Much of this is planted with grain, ...", I think the word "wildflowers" might have managed to get into the wrong place. This paragraph concludes that "Artifical as it may be, the park gives an idea of what the landscape must have looked like before it was totally overrun by humans." When I read this, I thought you referred to a wild state which contradicts the 'formal gardens' and 'fountains' just mentioned but then realised that it was probably the 'totally' overrun that had to be remembered. I'm probably being unduly critical but if something does occur to you to polish this sentence.....

A final quibble, you mention that the price includes all the food and drink you want (you have to 'want' water, other drinks have to be paid for as you mentioned earlier).

I hope this feedback is useful and feel free to disregard it

Hi, Eagle.

The landscape has been artifically re-natured from the park it once was, but also has more formal areas set in it, be they buildings ore gardens.

The buildings and gardens are very much regional - the materials used, the plants, and so on - but they're allowed to be modern.

I've changed it to say "lunch" rather than food and drink, too

I'll work on uploading some photos to Fotki soon. Tavaron also has some; I'm sure she could submit an "official" one to the Photographers.

I'm sorry not to have got round to reading this before, I got sidetracked by all the ones who need lots of help with their English ( I know)


To your Entry though Mala, What can I say? you write so professionally and the subject matter becomes so interesting I am feeling enticed by this museum. If I ever have a chance to visit it, I will certainly do so, your article has 'sold me' on it.


With it being so beautifully crafted I feel mean to point out the one and only typo that I noticed.


missing 'i'


>>Artifical as it may be, the park gives an idea


Also, and this is only a suggestion, in the last two paragraphs you use quite a few exclamation marks. I feel the strength of your writing doesn't need all of them?




Thanks Mala, it was a pleasure to read

Thanks, Lanza!

Typo corrected, punctuation changed.

I'll go through and add links once is sorted.

A brilliant Entry by a great Researcher This held my interest till the end

Just a few minor nitpicks to mention if I may

I was told to avoid repetition thus <> could be changed

<> should was be were?

<< Like the pavilions, sculptures, terraces, fountains, and formal gardens are loosely scattered in a landscape that seems otherwise untouched, meadows, trees, ponds, ditches, and a lazy river arranged informally, with meandering paths.>> This doesn't make sense in my head sorry.

<> Is there only one box?

Be careful with regards to commas I have a feeling some are missing e.g. In the middle of the 'island' is a long, low wooden house surrounded by sculptures.

Be careful with spelling <> should be <>

I have a feeling that the price will change and I don't know the pound equivalent to Euros either so I'm unsure how relevant this point is to make.

I'd be tempted to write 'first' instead of <>.

at the hungry granny bit but don't forget to tease other mere mortals too if you are going to keep this in

Is it <> or 'alternatively'?

Keep Writing

Hi, Opti

Sometimes, repetition is carelessness. Here, it's a stylistic device.

"was" changed to "were"

"with" inserted into the confusing sentence, though it was grammatically correct even before, merely confusing

As "does what it says on the box" is a set phrase, the question of numbers of boxes doesn't come up

"Artifacts" is spelled just fine in an archaeological sense.

I've added a bit in a footnote saying that the prices are as of June 2009, and might put in a link to the website once I figure out whether there's an English version. The exchange rate keeps, well, changing, so adding the price in pounds wouldn't be very useful.

Changed alternately to alternatively

Have added a few links. Not entirely satisfied with the opening paragraph yet...

The problem may be that the first two sentences don't contain verbs. This can work with short sentences, but when you have long ones with clauses it just reads a little oddly. I'd consider rewriting them.

Anyway, that's just a nitpick - this is great!

Icy

Hmmm. Fair point, Icy. I'll give it some thought

*mull mull mull*

Still haven't found a good solution...

But I do have photos up, taken during last year's visit:

http://public.fotki.com/Malabarista/hombroich/

Tweaked the opening paragraph slightly, though I'm still not too sure about it

Working on a blob.

Any ideas for the opening paragraph?

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