h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

5 feet???
I was taught to throw the Uzi 'coz its total weight is over 4 KGs, and it's faster than loading and firing the damn thing. They used to get stuck so often, I think it was a really good advice.
I'll never forget my Basic training shooting range- I was lying down next to a girl that was kinda... slow, and she just moved around, all the time. I was terrified by her. I shot my 5 bullets, as I was told, after switching the gun to Single mode. Another girl next to me, switched it by mistake to Autuomatic and shot about 20 bullets at once! Poor thing, she refused to go on shooting.
The night range was even better, I was staring at the marking bullets, making thin red light in the air.
In Officers course some of us got the Uzi with the wooden stock, and some got the M-16's. I got an iron stock Uzi, and hated it. I wanted the M-16... For some stupid reason they seem to have given the M-16's to allot of short girls. Poor things nearly tripped on them. I, being tall, could have handled them much better.
Speaking of weapons, my fiance' has a thing for broad swords and crossbows. If anything, I like archery, but as a sport and the accuracy and concentration it requires, not for the militant nature of it.
What is it with men and weapons?

Speaking of tripping over guns- this was a funny sight:
At the beginning of officers course we were told never to let the guns leave our sides, unless we go to the bathroom, and someone else's watching over them.
We weren't carrying weapons before the course, except for a few girls, who advised us to wrap the strap around our ankles when we sit down at lectures, so we can't leave without them.
At the end of the first general lecture we all had together, you could see about 200 girls standing up, tripping over, giggling and picking up the weapons- all together, as if in command.
The fun things I've done in the army..

Almost as funny as us recruits dropping our caps in the toilets when we sat down. We were instructed to place our caps in the back of our pants when we were indoors.

I had a similar experience on the range with an idiot in the tin whistle (a piece of galvanized five foot diameter culvert pipe stuck in the ground to form a foxhole) next to me went to rock and roll the very first time on the range. The instructor said,"Don't worry about it. It happens to all of us. Just try not to wave it near the Noncoms next time."
Meanwhile, I'm trying to hit something because one of the range corporals messed with my sights after two round. He wouldn't let me get a five round group, so I could see where it was going. Nothing like working with experts.
Later, I had trouble with my weapon trying to double feed and I took it to the Spec 5 who was running the gunsmith truck. He gave it back to me just after breakfest the next day and when I got to the range I discovered he'd reassembled my rifle without the recoil spring guide rod in the buttstock!
Nothing like working with experts.

When we bivouaced near the range, we were told to loop our rifle's slings around our necks or our legs to keep the Corporals from stealing them. I did okay until I was sitting on my rifle and I reached over to get a salt packet from a buddy... and there was the Corporal.
They lined us offenders up and the Captain offered us a choice of three hundred pushups or three hundred dollars. I told him he could take the money.
Nothing ever happened.

Okay, I exaggerated a bit, I just measured the Mauser. It's more like four feet, two and half inches. It's the old style, with the straight bolt and a cleaning rod. The Turks had a habit of modifiying all their weapons and captured weapons to a similar standard, so it's been rebarrelled some time in the thirties with an American 8mm barrel.