Satan's Dilemma

Satan walked into a bar

Said 'Pour me a drink,

Got a lot upon my mind,

I need to sit down and think.'


The bartender reached back

For the bottle of strongest liquor

Satan said 'pour it long,

If you don't want that I kill 'ya.'


Satan went to a table

And sat down to think

He sat and stared long and hard

Into the bottom of his drink


Then Satan shouted out

'Can anyone tell me why,

With all the fun in this ole' world,

People still gotta die?'


'There's people that like

To be beaten and whipped,

Then they come to me,

To be punished.' He quipped


'Now how can I punish

Those that enjoy it?

Can you see my dilemma?

How that leaves me in the s**t?'


'Am I to start being nice

To all the evil ones?

Those that murder and torture?

All of Cain's true sons?'


'Am I to open a holiday camp

For all those sick minds?

Put on a cabaret?

Comedy shows and the kind?'


'All those things that I detest,

Will they hate them too?

Or are they so twisted,

That I'll have to think of something new?'