Dear Agony Aunt,
I find myself in the position of having to decide between lazing about soaking up the sun and turning a delicious brown or slaving away in the kitchen. The former prospect sounds too good to ignore, although I seem to be attracting all the wrong crowd when outside... mosquitoes, midges, wasps etc! Do you think this indicates that I really should stay indoors and remain an interesting shade of white?
It seems that some annoying visitors intent on causing you discomfort are squashing your dream. Might I suggest that if you want to turn a delicious brown that you try using the browning agent, used on meats and such, while doing your daily cooking. Be sure to stand near the heat of the stove so that the browning agent can be activated. This would enable you to look as if you have that golden glow everyone seems to want while at the same time having the meals on the table that I am sure they also want. By having both you will not only be a delicious shade of brown (and the envy of those around you) but you will also have everyone thinking that you are a superwoman for finding the time to do both.
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