h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes, I most certainly am unfamiliar with the bump from underneath the bedclothes. A rumble yes, but a bump?

I fear that you have your bumps the wrong way round. The first bump is a silent one and the second is the noise resulting from the bump on the head.

I agree, both can be rather alarming.

But the mysterious rumble under the bedclothes may not necessarily be silent. Perhaps dainty ladies are so aware in their sleep that they can stifle the more thunderous bumps, but most humans that I am aware of are not aware enough in their slumber to control the thunder down under and hence sometimes, given enough momentum this rumble can bubble into a sizable bump!

Ah! My bump was solid and silent. Yours is air and appears to get trapped under the bedclothes amounting to a rather large lump

I think there is some confusion between rumbles and bumps, but let us agree not to understand each other.

It is the silent bumps/lumps/rumbles which you have to worry about. I say keep a big stick by your bed just in case, and sleep under a crocheted blanket.

Dainty ladies beware, your mothers have warned you about these bumps in the night in a rather confusing way yes, but it is all to preserve your innocence and dignity. Above all, deny everything.

I'd rather disagree to understand for the sake of misunderstanding, but then maybe that's just me being irrational again.

What planet do you come from?

Also related is the "Lump in the morning" generally between the shins, rather than on them. Also some distance from the shins. The shorter the distance claimed, the greater the bragging involved.
The lump in the morning can often be the souce of marital disagreement and sometimes marital agreement. In the latter case, the number of bed bugs (see related forum) is apparently likely to increase.
It is also sometimes referred to as foreplay. Whatever that is.

Is that like some kind of ten pin bowling?